Review of The Shallows

The Shallows (2016)
3/10
Canute in a bikini
8 September 2016
I can suspend disbelief with the best of them, a shark becomes vengeful towards a human, no problem, an exhausted woman can ride a turbo charged chain to extreme depth, fine, mobile phone coverage on an isolated beach in Mexico, sure, they have great infrastructure.

What I absolutely cannot accept is that high tide does not follow low tide by a little over six hours. It's the same the world over and is invariable. A hot girl in a bikini can persuade me of almost anything, but not that she can change the speed the moon revolves around the earth.

To add to this marine quibble, the story tells us there's 25 minutes to high tide, but the rock she's sitting on is still two feet above the water. Now if she'd been marooned on a rock in the Bristol Channel, where there's a huge tidal range, it's just possible the rock could have been covered 25 minutes later. Of course it's pretty cold, so no bikini, and there aren't any killer sharks, so no tension.

The rest of the film is extremely silly. She should have eaten the bird.
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