I read an article once, a study showed apparently people who like to watch bad movies, on purpose, are highly intelligent, so this was good news for me, a year before Sharknado there came this natural phenomenon mixed with a creature people have a fear of, but I could guess what the result would be. Basically an oil company in New Orleans have been fracking for years, and one day this causes an earthquake to occur, and from the crevices the seismic activity has awoken a species of giant fire-breathing, carnivorous spiders from hibernation, they have evolved from deep underground. When a victim is bitten by one of these spiders, they are given a series of horrific number of large blisters, and eventually they burst open to release a new batch of infant spiders ready to attack. Slacker bus drivers Paul (American Pie Presents The Book of Love's Bug Hall) and Charlie (Terminator 2: Judgement Day's Edward Furlong) are two of the many hundreds of people in danger from these monstrous spiders, they must make it to the swamps of Louisiana, but they find out that the creatures can run on water as well. After many nasty deaths and confrontations with the spiders, the surviving characters realise that all of them will die if the queen spider is killed, so a plan is made to find and attack her, in the end the plan is successful, and all spiders can be squashed, destroyed or simply blow into mush. Also starring Tracey Gold as Katelynn, Star Trek: Voyager's Ethan Phillips as Roy, Epic Movie's Olivia Hardt as Petra, Lucky Johnson as Glen, Megan Adelle as Annabel, Grant James as Gramps and Dane Rhodes as Jean Jacques. Most of the actors look like they are trying to take it seriously, but you can tell Furlong has had the curse of the child star, the story is simple, a bunch of nasty large arachnids with evolved abilities attacking everyone, the special effects to create them and the destruction is mostly awful, I will admit I did squirm seeing large pussy lumps on characters bursting and releasing the spiders, but I was not impressed by the stupid script or overall ridiculous, a terrible science-fiction thriller film. Pretty poor!
Review of Arachnoquake
