An insightful warning into the dangers of organic farming. A character-focused drama packed with thrills and suspense. Good acting from a largely unknown cast. Excellent special effects produced on a low budget. An original, highly intelligent plot which doesn't underestimate the intelligence of the viewer. Strong and stylish photography. A fine score which compliments the on screen action. Plenty of chills and thrills and moments of genuine horror. Effective shock sequences and unexpected surprises at every corner. A crew of seasoned genre veterans working at their hardest. TROLL 2 contains absolutely none of these things, being as it is one of the genuinely worst movies ever made. Not to mention one of the worst sequels, as it has absolutely nothing to do with the first TROLL, which was an irritating kiddie fantasy which still manages to be miles better than this one in retrospect.
The opening scene sees a man getting attacked by goblins in the woods and sweating chlorophyll as a result (!). It only goes downhill from here. You see, this is merely a fairy tale told to the youngster Joshua, by his dead grandfather. Gramps has been dead for six months or so but still hangs around to give his young protégé useful advice - kind of like a burly version of Obi-Wan Kenobi. Joshua is played by the truly obnoxious Michael Stephenson, who makes previous contenders for the most-irritating-child-actor-ever awards like Giovanni Frezza seem mild in comparison.
Sadly, the rest of Joshua's oh-so-awful family are just as bad. Firstly there's the brain-dead dad, played by Craig T. Nelson wannabe George Hardy. Wooden isn't the wood for Hardy's stolid portrayal of a tough family man. Similarly, Margo Prey's turn as the silly mother Diana is just as grating, and as for his sister, well the less said the better. One of the many low points of this movie is the sight of her dancing in a mirror. A witch is one of the main bad guys in the film, and the actress is definitely the worst I've ever seen.
The "plot" - not that you can call it that - consists of various dumb teenagers being turned into plants and eaten by the goblins, which are actually dwarfs or child actors with unconvincing masks on. This happens repeatedly and once the initial surprise of seeing somebody bleed cheap green blood wears off, it quickly becomes tiring. There's so some silly conspiracy-type plot about townsfolk who are really goblins in disguise, and a finale which rips off NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD yet again by having the heroes surrounded in their home by the monsters. The script is so stupid that the kid only figures that Nilbog is "goblin" spelt backwards when he sees it reversed in a mirror. Or try the scene where he stops his family eating their greens by urinating on the table - a new low in cinema standards, although an admittedly amusing one.
Other hallucinatory highlights include a couple making love to a corn-on-the-cob and getting swamped by popcorn (there is no explanation for this scene whatsoever), Joshua descending into a red-lit netherworld to find his grandfather's spirit, a storekeeper who gives out spoiled milk, a boy who becomes a pot plant, and a girl who drinks a potion and is turned into a gooey vegetable. The special effects are rubbish, even by no-budget standards, and I am astonished that this film got an '18' certificate in the UK - there's hardly any blood at all, just people becoming plants, which the BBFC surely couldn't have taken seriously? The film just ends with a whimper instead of a bang and you'll end up instantly forgetting the events of the previous ninety-five minutes. A protective psychological measure otherwise you'd probably go mad. Appalling stuff, although strangely amusing, this is a must-see for all bad movie fans as one of the very worst that there is.
The opening scene sees a man getting attacked by goblins in the woods and sweating chlorophyll as a result (!). It only goes downhill from here. You see, this is merely a fairy tale told to the youngster Joshua, by his dead grandfather. Gramps has been dead for six months or so but still hangs around to give his young protégé useful advice - kind of like a burly version of Obi-Wan Kenobi. Joshua is played by the truly obnoxious Michael Stephenson, who makes previous contenders for the most-irritating-child-actor-ever awards like Giovanni Frezza seem mild in comparison.
Sadly, the rest of Joshua's oh-so-awful family are just as bad. Firstly there's the brain-dead dad, played by Craig T. Nelson wannabe George Hardy. Wooden isn't the wood for Hardy's stolid portrayal of a tough family man. Similarly, Margo Prey's turn as the silly mother Diana is just as grating, and as for his sister, well the less said the better. One of the many low points of this movie is the sight of her dancing in a mirror. A witch is one of the main bad guys in the film, and the actress is definitely the worst I've ever seen.
The "plot" - not that you can call it that - consists of various dumb teenagers being turned into plants and eaten by the goblins, which are actually dwarfs or child actors with unconvincing masks on. This happens repeatedly and once the initial surprise of seeing somebody bleed cheap green blood wears off, it quickly becomes tiring. There's so some silly conspiracy-type plot about townsfolk who are really goblins in disguise, and a finale which rips off NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD yet again by having the heroes surrounded in their home by the monsters. The script is so stupid that the kid only figures that Nilbog is "goblin" spelt backwards when he sees it reversed in a mirror. Or try the scene where he stops his family eating their greens by urinating on the table - a new low in cinema standards, although an admittedly amusing one.
Other hallucinatory highlights include a couple making love to a corn-on-the-cob and getting swamped by popcorn (there is no explanation for this scene whatsoever), Joshua descending into a red-lit netherworld to find his grandfather's spirit, a storekeeper who gives out spoiled milk, a boy who becomes a pot plant, and a girl who drinks a potion and is turned into a gooey vegetable. The special effects are rubbish, even by no-budget standards, and I am astonished that this film got an '18' certificate in the UK - there's hardly any blood at all, just people becoming plants, which the BBFC surely couldn't have taken seriously? The film just ends with a whimper instead of a bang and you'll end up instantly forgetting the events of the previous ninety-five minutes. A protective psychological measure otherwise you'd probably go mad. Appalling stuff, although strangely amusing, this is a must-see for all bad movie fans as one of the very worst that there is.