Review of Moana

Moana (I) (2016)
6/10
Now if only we could have an Afghan Disney Princess..
28 November 2016
Warning: Spoilers
As far as animation goes, Moana is a tremendous achievement.

As far as the Disney mass-hysteria goes, Moana breaks a few trends.

As far as anything else goes -- you know, things that make a *movie*, Moana is an average motion-picture regurgitated from clichés too numerous to list and too hastily mashed together to have any kind of coherent effect.

  • A princess wants to do things differently. (Opportunity for getting a bunch of adventurous-sounding rhymes stuck in teenage girls' head: Check. Now we have 2016's "Let it Go".)


  • An authority figure wants her to stick to old ways.


  • Another -- warmer -- authority figure believes in the princess.


-Magic.

  • The princess is thrust into situations she is definitely not prepared for. But well, her grandma *believes* in her.


  • Meets a jock.


  • Gets constantly in trouble and needs to be helped by the jock or (literally) by forces of nature.


  • Moments of self-doubt.


  • The princess' moment of self-doubt is resolved by a vision of her dead-grandma.


  • The jock's moment of self-doubt is resolved by the princess.


  • Bunch of evil things.


  • Everything fails.


  • The princess saves the day with a song.


It's very rare that I end up sounding so cynical about a movie. I liked Zootopia. I'm okay with reusing certain plot techniques in a way that makes sense. But Moana focuses too much on character design, Polynesian "authenticity" and the must-break-the-glass-ceiling bandwagon that it kind of forgets that a movie is not only made by marketing and press, but also by its own innate qualities.
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