1001 Grams (2014)
2/10
Uh, Are We There Yet?
15 December 2016
"You must be patient," someone says to the protagonist, Maria, about halfway through the movie. Ain't it the truth. I kept waiting for something to happen. A new acquaintance tells her he's working on a project about how birds change their song when they go from the country to the city. This is the most interesting thing that has happened so far, I thought to myself. Ever keep watching a movie you hated all the way to the end just because you couldn't believe what you were watching could be that bad and you just had to see if something, anything was going to salvage it from disaster? Well, I did keep watching and toward the end a few things do finally happen, including a scene the movie had basically been building up to in its effort to show us how clever it is (if I may be permitted to anthropomorphize a movie). Also, some philosophy gets thrown around as does some hanky-panky and some more measurements (in one case to complement the hanky-panky) and we get to hear the birds again. Perhaps, dear fellow film fan, you are more patient than I and when the credits finally begin to roll you will sigh and whisper to your beloved, or to yourself if, sadly, you are alone, "Ah, that was a lovely movie." As for me, my TV menu informs me that Die-hard 2 will be showing this afternoon. I don't know if I will like it, but I do know that I need it.
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