Wow, just wow. Celluloid atrocity this bad doesn't come round that often and so must be cherished.
This is a distinctively European disasterpiece that combines an ambitious screenplay, Attempts at nuanced drama, hideous casting, opaque cinematography, a pointless groping scene, hilarious miscasting, lows of distinguished careers, abysmal pacing, aggressive stereotyping, did i mention the casting?
Those were meant to be Romanian teenagers. They, were not. They were a middle aged Chinese man and a black man. Are there Chinese and black people living in Romania? It's a wide world out there. But any mofo with a half a brain could tell that those casting choices were not out of a desire to bring light upon Eastern Europe's ethnic diversity. Or was it? It wasn't. They were the only guys you could get who would do the nonsense you wanted them to do. Maybe.
That's not important. What is, is that Kidnapped in Romania is a meandering, off-kilter piece de ineptness that MIGHT just be the worst thing Madsen ever starred in, nevertheless Sorvino. I guess i was looking for something more trashy than what i got, which is why i'm so miffed i guess. But that still doesn't stop the film from being a poorly paced, acted and scripted mess that has no idea what it's audience is. The art-house ending makes sense dramatically, but was not built up properly at all and will then of course lead many to say it's one of the worst they've ever encountered.
To say that this film was mis-marketed is an understatement and a half. Like Essex Vendetta, this is a mediocre art film masquerading as a clone of more competently made commercial films (Taken and Footsoldier in this regard). Oh, its not like how it used to be. Only that this is twice as hilarious as Vendetta. One for the beer night or whatever you people do.
This is a distinctively European disasterpiece that combines an ambitious screenplay, Attempts at nuanced drama, hideous casting, opaque cinematography, a pointless groping scene, hilarious miscasting, lows of distinguished careers, abysmal pacing, aggressive stereotyping, did i mention the casting?
Those were meant to be Romanian teenagers. They, were not. They were a middle aged Chinese man and a black man. Are there Chinese and black people living in Romania? It's a wide world out there. But any mofo with a half a brain could tell that those casting choices were not out of a desire to bring light upon Eastern Europe's ethnic diversity. Or was it? It wasn't. They were the only guys you could get who would do the nonsense you wanted them to do. Maybe.
That's not important. What is, is that Kidnapped in Romania is a meandering, off-kilter piece de ineptness that MIGHT just be the worst thing Madsen ever starred in, nevertheless Sorvino. I guess i was looking for something more trashy than what i got, which is why i'm so miffed i guess. But that still doesn't stop the film from being a poorly paced, acted and scripted mess that has no idea what it's audience is. The art-house ending makes sense dramatically, but was not built up properly at all and will then of course lead many to say it's one of the worst they've ever encountered.
To say that this film was mis-marketed is an understatement and a half. Like Essex Vendetta, this is a mediocre art film masquerading as a clone of more competently made commercial films (Taken and Footsoldier in this regard). Oh, its not like how it used to be. Only that this is twice as hilarious as Vendetta. One for the beer night or whatever you people do.