Review of Stage Door Canteen

. . . of an American Serviceman Holding a Rotten Orange" scene that can be glimpsed during SAVING PRIVATE RYAN's recreation of the Normandy D-Day Invasion. It turns out that these few Micro-seconds of Gruesome Handage are the proverbial "rest of the story" provided by RYAN director Steve Spielberg to the famous ROMEO AND JULIET interchange which begins this Tragic Tale of Woe from 15:28 to 17:08 of STAGE DOOR CANTEEN. Newly Boot-Camped High School Leotard Boy Jack "California" Gilman holds up his chow line in the canteen to dither over an aging stage actress who once played Ms. Capulet. When this seasoned matron gives him a "parting gift" of an orange, Jack vows to keep the perishable citrus fruit on hand till death do them part. Jack's ludicrous pledge festered in Spielberg's imagination for decades, finally germinating into his Stephen King wrinkle along Omaha Beach. Certainly one must hand kudos to Spielberg for verisimilitude here, as Jack's heirloom orange continues to dwarf his Itty Bitty detached Drama Club Appendage even in its withered state. It's too bad that Jack did not have a Real Estate Mogul Daddy to buy a doctor's note giving him a "4F" Get-out-of-the-Draft-Card in War Time due to his under-sized hands, a trick which worked for alleged U.S. President #45.