Descendants 2 (2017 TV Movie)
1/10
Don't waste your time
22 July 2017
This is the first time I'm even writing an IMDb review, because this movie really, really doesn't deserve the rating it has right now. Acting is horrendous -- you can tell exactly what the actors thought they should be doing, and as hard as you might try, the movie won't let you forget for one second that these people are Disney Channel child models. ("Flouncy" is not a good adjective for a sword fight.) Music? Oh boy. There's no reason why pop music can't be beautifully incorporated into a musical. Lots of great movies have proved that. Unfortunately, what this movie proves is that there are also many, many ways for pop music to be unbearably corny. At points it seems like the Autotune folks were just going for overtime pay. The characters' "singing voices" are so different from their regular voices, they might as well be different people. Actually, the "singing voices" are more different from the natural voices than the co-stars are from each other. But just in case you didn't get the message, they throw in some uncannily unnatural lip-syncing.

I don't want to drag this on for longer than I have, so lightning round: plot -- attempts for consistent characterization never stop the story from going where it wants to; set -- say what you want about costuming in the 40s, at least they paid attention to basic night/day continuity; and, of course, the infamous CGI -- look, you shouldn't script for the budget you wish you had, but, as with so many other things in this movie, they went ahead and did it anyway.
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