Review of Jackals

Jackals (I) (2017)
2/10
Pointless drivel. Spectacularly bad
3 September 2017
It's difficult to make movies this terrible. This is one where you wonder how on earth this was made and does someone have pictures of Steven Dorff doing something very embarrassing? In short, the audience isn't told much about what is really going on because that would ruin any sense of understanding what is going on and why. There is a cult that wears masks when they want to feel scary and they are using knives to slice up people in an awkward "we're in a movie" sort of way. After an opening of senseless violence, you are taken to the cabin in the woods where you learn that a father has grabbed his son and his friend who apparently are now a part of a cult. Dorff plays the deprogrammer.

The acting is terrible. Dorff can't save the film and it's clear that they couldn't pay for him to be on screen very long. But not only is the acting terrible but the dialogue is laughably stilted and awkward. The longer it goes on the more you wonder why on earth you're watching because every character acts about as dumb as you'd expect in a bad B-horror movie.

And as was asked by the forgettable girl, why didn't this gang just break the windows and bull rush the cabin and kill all of them. Wouldn't be too difficult. But if they did, you would have all this scary imagery going on to prolong the movie for an interminable hour to create something that resembles The Void. "We must have all our cult people stand motionless in the dark with masks on to create a semblance of something scary that could only be explained by a movie director choreographing this charade." Even the scared family is trying to figure out what on earth the father is trying to do since even stupid people wouldn't act the way he is.

I actually haven't provided any spoilers. I'll just say that the movie deliberately doesn't provide you what you should know because it needs something to get you to watch until the end. Why? Who cares? This is not just bad. It's spectacularly bad.
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