2/10
Poor Man's Halloween
13 January 2018
Warning: Spoilers
It starts off pretty decently, a twenty-something-year-old babysitter, as the title leads us to believe, strips to take a bath (and might I just say that she has quite a body), right up until she is held captive, tortured, and then murdered in a not to gruesome fashion, by an unknown figure.

We then cut to sometime later during Halloween, as we are introduced to our supposed main heroine, Angela, whom I guess had been friends with the girl in the opening (though, through tedious exposition, we are told that it might have actually been someone else), and just so happens to be close to the supposed father of said person. Yeah, she really isn't that interesting, at least not as much her lesbian-like punk friend, Bianca, and I don't mean that in a positive manner. Every word that came out of this chicks mouth made it sound like she was a transgender of some sort. While I'll admit that the main girl's friends were nice to look at (more so than her), I won't be ignoring the fact that both said 'characters' are virtually useless.

What irritated me the most was the kills; not the kills themselves, but the specific victims of them. Not only were the kills sappy at best, most of them had no real purpose. Whether we know who the person is or not, she (or he) gets axed off within less than a minute: mostly it's the ones played by actresses far more attractive than the 'supposed main heroine'; hell, there is even a nerdy (yet extremely horny) chick who is ten times hotter than said heroine, but I digress.

THIS was nothing but a FETISH film. If T&A are the ONLY good things your movie has to offer, I really can't help but feel sorry for you.
5 out of 7 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

Recently Viewed