Review of As If I Am Not There

"As If I'm Not There" realistically portrays the female-in-combat/camp narrative and the themes that come with it, including enduring the camp experience past its physical confines and a realistic victim who makes questionable choices. Juanita Wilson makes a smart choice to not end the movie when the camp is liberated, instead tracing just the beginning of Samira's hard journey of enduring and "recovering". The journey from camp to liberation in some ways replicates the camp life as it still makes people feel powerless and somewhat like animals. When Samira and the other women have to cross the river and hill to transfer to another set of busses, there is the real possibility that the women could've been shot and killed since they were still at the power of the army men with the guns. When Samira learns that she is pregnant and cannot abort the baby, the infant becomes a physical reminder of the sexual violence she experienced, and we see her struggle to decide whether or not she wants to deal with the pain of the memories of the camp or the pain of the camp plus giving up a baby. Not only that, but the idea of a "perfect victim" is squashed as we realize there may not be just good or just bad people in the world. Samira starts out as the innocent school teacher who moves from the big city to a small village who is then captured by the Serbian army and taken to a rape camp, but we see her egoism when she takes back her sexuality to attract the Captain, one of her captors. The captain himself is portrayed as not necessarily all bad, as he's still a man with a family, even if he may also be a monster. Overall, the main pull of this movie is that the audience gets to experience the realness of how a camp can function as a form of social engineering. While there is little dialogue, we feel every emotion Samira feels through her body language and facial expressions as she is thrown into the worst of situations and must endure, not necessarily overcome. Especially for people who know little about the Balkans in the 1990s or about camps in general, this is a great introduction to the harsh realities people faced and continue to face today. Especially since the lives of women during and post-war are rarely mentioned, this is a powerful piece that deserves more recognition for what it successfully portrays.