As more than one reviewer has noted, this story has nothing to do with Amityville and shouldn't try to associate itself with it by borrowing the name.
This tactic is the rancid cherry atop of this steaming pile of pyretic poopoo of a movie.
It stinks like a dysentery hospital bathroom and it's hard to know where to start dissecting its' shortcomings. I can forgive A LOT but I'm overwhelmed by the stench here.
The opening scene says it all. I was convinced that this was a half-cocked spoof of a some other horrible horror spoof. If you can drudge through those first 2 minutes of asinine ridiculousness then you deserve to waste the next 80 minutes of your life. I carry no sympathy for you, for you've been warned.
If you've ever watched horror movies, good or bad, then you've already seen this movie. It succeeds at including every cliché and troupe for the genre that there is. There's nothing original here, it totally lacks originality. It's not scary, creepy, shocking, thrilling nor memorable.
It is confounding at first. The movie begins with 3 adults, dressed similarly, traveling in a truck. A bit later we learn that 2 of the adults are parents to the other adult. This would only be plausible if the pair had reproduced while in elementary school. The more you look at the trio, the more outlandish they seem as a family.
They arrive at a well kept, seeming modernized house where the fathers sister lives. She's an artist who's still grieving from the loss of their parents. She's also recovering from substance abuse. These 2 issues are never visited, they are kept closeted. The dirt-bike riding, semi-tough daughter is increasingly rude to her aunt without provocation.
Summarized: Boring cliché. Lame cliché. Yawning cliché. Hack cliché. Cheap cliché. Crappy Repetitive cliché. Goofy cliché. Annoying cliché. Ambiguous cliché, Stupid cliché... my 2 stars is being generous.
And that's all, folks. .
The opening scene says it all. I was convinced that this was a half-cocked spoof of a some other horrible horror spoof. If you can drudge through those first 2 minutes of asinine ridiculousness then you deserve to waste the next 80 minutes of your life. I carry no sympathy for you, for you've been warned.
If you've ever watched horror movies, good or bad, then you've already seen this movie. It succeeds at including every cliché and troupe for the genre that there is. There's nothing original here, it totally lacks originality. It's not scary, creepy, shocking, thrilling nor memorable.
It is confounding at first. The movie begins with 3 adults, dressed similarly, traveling in a truck. A bit later we learn that 2 of the adults are parents to the other adult. This would only be plausible if the pair had reproduced while in elementary school. The more you look at the trio, the more outlandish they seem as a family.
They arrive at a well kept, seeming modernized house where the fathers sister lives. She's an artist who's still grieving from the loss of their parents. She's also recovering from substance abuse. These 2 issues are never visited, they are kept closeted. The dirt-bike riding, semi-tough daughter is increasingly rude to her aunt without provocation.
Summarized: Boring cliché. Lame cliché. Yawning cliché. Hack cliché. Cheap cliché. Crappy Repetitive cliché. Goofy cliché. Annoying cliché. Ambiguous cliché, Stupid cliché... my 2 stars is being generous.
And that's all, folks. .