'Ice Spiders' offers you very little that you haven't seen before, if you've seen your fair share of modern creature features. It's got the standard-issue abundance of tacky digital effects, the goofy and over the top cartoonish deaths, a bunch of inane characters and performances, and yet another dose of that oh-so-familiar "surfer dude" speak that we've heard in countless movies since the early 1980s.
Patrick Muldoon ("Starship Troopers") stars as a washed-up skiing star working as an instructor at a resort. He must become one of the heroes when a half dozen extremely aggressive, oversized arachnids go on the attack. Not surprisingly, they are the result of typical genetic experiments. A scientist on the project, played by the sexy Vanessa Williams (not the singer / actress, but the other one, whose credits include "Candyman" and "New Jack City"), tries to warn people, but it's already too late.
I did say in another very recent review that these types of movies start to blend together after a while. If you've seen just one, chances are you'll know what to expect from most of them. This one has a silly script with some genuinely bad dialogue, but the actors still get some credit for reciting all of it with their best poker faces on display.
And that sincerity does help. Personally speaking, this viewer would rather have filmmakers take themselves at least somewhat seriously. Excessive winking at the audience in this day and age has sort of run its course.
Muldoon is an amiable heroic hunk, and Williams handles her exposition duties capably. Thomas Calabro ('Melrose Place') is okay as a tough-as-nails military officer. But most of the curiosity derives from the casting of TV veteran Stephen J. Cannell in a substantial acting role, and he's good as one of the few characters in this movie who's able to keep his cool and use his head.
An okay one-time watch for cheese lovers, but very disposable overall.
Directed by Tibor Takacs, the Hungarian-born filmmaker who also gave the world "The Gate" and "I, Madman".
Five out of 10.
Patrick Muldoon ("Starship Troopers") stars as a washed-up skiing star working as an instructor at a resort. He must become one of the heroes when a half dozen extremely aggressive, oversized arachnids go on the attack. Not surprisingly, they are the result of typical genetic experiments. A scientist on the project, played by the sexy Vanessa Williams (not the singer / actress, but the other one, whose credits include "Candyman" and "New Jack City"), tries to warn people, but it's already too late.
I did say in another very recent review that these types of movies start to blend together after a while. If you've seen just one, chances are you'll know what to expect from most of them. This one has a silly script with some genuinely bad dialogue, but the actors still get some credit for reciting all of it with their best poker faces on display.
And that sincerity does help. Personally speaking, this viewer would rather have filmmakers take themselves at least somewhat seriously. Excessive winking at the audience in this day and age has sort of run its course.
Muldoon is an amiable heroic hunk, and Williams handles her exposition duties capably. Thomas Calabro ('Melrose Place') is okay as a tough-as-nails military officer. But most of the curiosity derives from the casting of TV veteran Stephen J. Cannell in a substantial acting role, and he's good as one of the few characters in this movie who's able to keep his cool and use his head.
An okay one-time watch for cheese lovers, but very disposable overall.
Directed by Tibor Takacs, the Hungarian-born filmmaker who also gave the world "The Gate" and "I, Madman".
Five out of 10.