Criminal (2016)
1/10
Stupidity at Breakneck Speed
24 December 2018
Warning: Spoilers
This movie gave me déjà vu, at least at first it did until I remembered that I had tried to watch it before and stopped after my limited intelligence was insulted.

So I understand that we are called on to suspend belief for the bit about transferring memory from one person to the other. That is what fiction is all about. What I can't accept is how they put the guy's memories into a head of a maniac and then the guy's wife is left on her own, even after enough time has passed to realize that something has gone wrong with the plan. Stupidity is not what fiction should be based upon.

They have the ability to track a man running through the streets and metro of London but an alarm sounds in the house of the wife of the prime player in the story, they call the house and a man answers, and he's able to call them off? Stupid. Really stupid.

A day later he's driving around in a work van he stole the night before. As I said, they can track an individual sprinting through the streets but they can't find this vehicle? He may as well be cruising around London on a parade float.

And then there is comically evil bad guy, who shouts out muu-ha-ha-haa every now and again. OK, he doesn't really but that's about the only evil guy cliché they left out.

Then there is The Dutchman. What a stupid name! Have you ever heard the one about a thousand monkeys with typewriters writing Shakespeare if they had enough time? It only took one monkey to come up with The Dutchman in two minutes with no typos. Bravo! Give him a couple of Red Bulls and a pizza and he could rock out the entire screenplay by quitting time.

"We need to find Jerico." Two people utter this moronic and completely obvious statement. What else could they say? "I need to spend less on car insurance."

And then he goes back to his home, and again, it isn't guarded.

And then it gets really stupid, so stupid that I lost all memory of this movie. Two days from now I'll forget it again, but I'll have this review to remind me that I hated it.

I can't even believe that so many people liked this.
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