After the success of Jaws and Jaws 2, it was a foregone conclusion that another voracious Great White shark would appear to terrorize filmgoers. Jaws 3-D made its appearance during the misguided resurgence of crummy 3-D in a period running from 1982-1984.
This time the action is set at a Florida Sea World-esque aquatic park where a 35-foot-long Great White manages to sneak into the park to gradually terrorize employees and patrons alike. To tenuously tie it to the original films, Mike Brody (Dennis Quaid) is one of the employees and his visiting brother Sean (John Putch) one of the potentially threatened patrons. The film hits some of the plot beats from the original Jaws (although no where near enough of them). As a couple of people go missing in action, Quaid and girlfriend Bess Armstrong begin to investigate the possibility of a shark being responsible. Naturally, Louis Gossett, Jr., is on hand as a park superior who refuses to close things down and calls in daring British adventurer Simon MacCorkindale to help locate and capture the critter. They find a baby Great White that they initially believe to be the culprit until the monstrous mama reveals herself in the latter portion.
In theory, setting the action at an aquatic park is definitely inspired and should have been a terrific setting for such a film to unfold. Alas, for all of the screaming people falling into the water (which becomes ridiculous after a while), scant few of them are actually attacked. The effects are scattershot and the film has a real problem deciding on what the shark can or cannot do. It swims backwards (not possible), sometimes it goes absurdly slow and other times at the speed of sound. In one scene, it proves capable of literally swallowing a character whole, while shortly before that it merely is capable of nipping the leg of another character.
If you are not seeing the film in 3-D, then you can be forgiven for wondering why the camera lingers on so many unnecessary shots. Truly, even in 3D, they are nothing to scream about. The sequence where the shark slowly swims towards an underwater viewing station and breaks the glass is laughably phony, but then so are many of the effects in this disaster.
The screenplay is terrible. It feels like full sections were left on the cutting room floor. There are a couple of attempts at humor that go splat, while unintentional hilarity starts to become the norm. The characters by and large are idiots and their dialogue will test patience. We may be able to swallow that a shark the size of Montana could easily swim unnoticed into the park during gate repairs, but it strains credibility that more people would not notice it hanging around for days on end thereafter. Sean is purportedly afraid of the water, but has no sooner arrived at the park before being paired by with pretty water skier Lea Thompson, who has him taking a nighttime swim in a lagoon and heading out on skimpy floats. The scenes where Putch and Thompson meet and flirt are embarrassingly amateurish to the point where it makes Porkys seem like MacBeth. Ditto, it would be nice if Mike warned his brother at some point that they suspect a shark is lurking around the park, but after their initial few scenes together, Mike seems to forget he has a brother visiting and vice versa. Plus, I am uncertain who cast the roles, but Sean is supposedly a good few years younger than Mike, but Putch looks like Quaid's contemporary or older.
Quaid is completely forgettable here. Mike is a total cipher and has pretty much nothing to do. He has no big scenes and is a fairly passive presence. MacCorkindale is lively at least, but one of the great mysteries of life is how Bess Armstrong got any acting gigs during the 80s. The woman is annoyance personified. She delivers every line with the kind of over-the-top can-do bouncing-off-the-walls positivity of Little Orphan Annie on uppers. She has no chemistry with Quaid, is not remotely credible as an undersea expert, and the only time she seems remotely alarmed during the deaths surrounding her is when she fears that a couple of dolphins have been lost to the shark. The less said about Gossett, the better. After shouting his way to a completely undeserved Oscar in An Officer and a Gentleman, it must have seemed like quite the coup to snag him here. Unfortunately, he just demonstrates that he is a hammy liability.
The film is a litany of wasted opportunities and missed chances. It does have one huge thing in its favor...it is not Jaws: The Revenge.
This time the action is set at a Florida Sea World-esque aquatic park where a 35-foot-long Great White manages to sneak into the park to gradually terrorize employees and patrons alike. To tenuously tie it to the original films, Mike Brody (Dennis Quaid) is one of the employees and his visiting brother Sean (John Putch) one of the potentially threatened patrons. The film hits some of the plot beats from the original Jaws (although no where near enough of them). As a couple of people go missing in action, Quaid and girlfriend Bess Armstrong begin to investigate the possibility of a shark being responsible. Naturally, Louis Gossett, Jr., is on hand as a park superior who refuses to close things down and calls in daring British adventurer Simon MacCorkindale to help locate and capture the critter. They find a baby Great White that they initially believe to be the culprit until the monstrous mama reveals herself in the latter portion.
In theory, setting the action at an aquatic park is definitely inspired and should have been a terrific setting for such a film to unfold. Alas, for all of the screaming people falling into the water (which becomes ridiculous after a while), scant few of them are actually attacked. The effects are scattershot and the film has a real problem deciding on what the shark can or cannot do. It swims backwards (not possible), sometimes it goes absurdly slow and other times at the speed of sound. In one scene, it proves capable of literally swallowing a character whole, while shortly before that it merely is capable of nipping the leg of another character.
If you are not seeing the film in 3-D, then you can be forgiven for wondering why the camera lingers on so many unnecessary shots. Truly, even in 3D, they are nothing to scream about. The sequence where the shark slowly swims towards an underwater viewing station and breaks the glass is laughably phony, but then so are many of the effects in this disaster.
The screenplay is terrible. It feels like full sections were left on the cutting room floor. There are a couple of attempts at humor that go splat, while unintentional hilarity starts to become the norm. The characters by and large are idiots and their dialogue will test patience. We may be able to swallow that a shark the size of Montana could easily swim unnoticed into the park during gate repairs, but it strains credibility that more people would not notice it hanging around for days on end thereafter. Sean is purportedly afraid of the water, but has no sooner arrived at the park before being paired by with pretty water skier Lea Thompson, who has him taking a nighttime swim in a lagoon and heading out on skimpy floats. The scenes where Putch and Thompson meet and flirt are embarrassingly amateurish to the point where it makes Porkys seem like MacBeth. Ditto, it would be nice if Mike warned his brother at some point that they suspect a shark is lurking around the park, but after their initial few scenes together, Mike seems to forget he has a brother visiting and vice versa. Plus, I am uncertain who cast the roles, but Sean is supposedly a good few years younger than Mike, but Putch looks like Quaid's contemporary or older.
Quaid is completely forgettable here. Mike is a total cipher and has pretty much nothing to do. He has no big scenes and is a fairly passive presence. MacCorkindale is lively at least, but one of the great mysteries of life is how Bess Armstrong got any acting gigs during the 80s. The woman is annoyance personified. She delivers every line with the kind of over-the-top can-do bouncing-off-the-walls positivity of Little Orphan Annie on uppers. She has no chemistry with Quaid, is not remotely credible as an undersea expert, and the only time she seems remotely alarmed during the deaths surrounding her is when she fears that a couple of dolphins have been lost to the shark. The less said about Gossett, the better. After shouting his way to a completely undeserved Oscar in An Officer and a Gentleman, it must have seemed like quite the coup to snag him here. Unfortunately, he just demonstrates that he is a hammy liability.
The film is a litany of wasted opportunities and missed chances. It does have one huge thing in its favor...it is not Jaws: The Revenge.