3/10
Ah Star Wars from Turkey
29 December 2019
Warning: Spoilers
The Man Who Saved the World is the true name of this movie, although nearly everyone refers to it as Turkish Star Wars.

Murat and Ali crash their ships on a desert planet that is no way Tatooine. That said, the footage of their crash is from Star Wars and footage of both the US and USSR space programs. Ali thinks that only women live on this planet, so he does a wolf whistle because in a galaxy long ago and far away me too does not exist. The whistle backfires and they fight skeletons on horseback before they are forced into the gladiator pits.

Our villain is a thousand-year-old wizard who has been stopped from destroying the Earth by a "shield of concentrated human brain molecules" or, as George Lucas would call it, the Death Star.

Our heroes escape to a cave where zombies attack and turn the children into the living dead, which gives the wizard more power, so our heroes and a girl go to a bar that is not in Mos Eisley . The villain gets them back and offers them all sorts of power and women to help destroy the Earth. He already has a golden brain and now all he needs is a real human brain.

There are more montser battles and escapes and then Murat finds out about a sword made by the 13th clan from a melted down mountain that is shaped liek a lightning bolt and protected by ninjas. Ali goes nuts though and for some reason, tries to steal the golden brain and this awesome sword and then get skilled by Turkish cinema.

Grieving for his lost friend, Murat melts down the word and the golden human brain and forge them into a pair of gloves and boots. He uses the Force, err, beats the unholy monster dung out of skeletons and beasts and even karate chops the villain in half. Then he does what you or I would - he flies away in the Millennium Falcon.

Making this movie even better is the fact that it shamelessly steals music from every movie that you love. It's main theme is "The Raiders March" by John Williams. However, it also lifts themes from Moonraker, The Black Hole, Ben-Hur, Flash Gordon, the Giorgio Moroder's remix of Battlestar Galactica, Planet of the Apes and Silent Running.

The decision to just steal the footage from Star Wars was a necessity. Suposedly, there were elaborate spaceship sets made on a Turkish beach that were destroyed by a storm and the studio refused to pay for new ones. Director Cetin Inanc bribed a guard at a Turkish film distributor and got the footage from a print of Lucas' film. However, all of the footage was spliced in from an anamorphic print - while this movie was shot in a different aspect ratio - making the Death Star look positively tiny.

It gets even sillier. The evil wizard has a wife who transforms into an old hag and a spider. There's a yellow vortex that turns men into zombies. Plus a man turns into a hairy ogre. All of these moments are also stolen from Bert I. Gordon's The Magic Sword.

Hey, you know how it goes. After all, Lucas stole quite a bit too. Ask Jack Kirby, The Dam Busters and Kurosawa. Maybe this movie brings balance to the Force.
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