What, he's still alive, you say? Then I guess he's doing whatever it is that people do when their work is reduced to unwatchable garbage.
The painfully slooooow pace and the stilted dialogue, not to mention the deliciously horrid acting, give this movie a satisfyingly soporific sensibility. Forget warm milk, sleeping pills, or bedtime stories, let the quiet calm of this production gently lull you into a sweet slumber.
Everything seems like it's on a time lag. Line. Pause. Response. Pause. Line. Pause. Response. Pause. Repeat as needed (cos it sure seemed like that's what the director did).
Oh, you want examples? Ok, so you know how when you're watching a love scene and you sometimes feel that twinge of discomfort? Well, here it's not the perceived eroticism that makes you cringe, it's the laughable stillness that makes you feel embarrassed for the actors. Not only does the chick lay there like a dead fish, the guy does too! So it's like watching two dead fish just sort of laying on top of one another.
Then there's this one scene marked by the quiet tick-tick of a clock counting down to the moment we finally surrender to the ... but, wait!! Something's happening, yes!! There's been a shooting!! Is it real or imagined?? Yeah, who cares, cos then it goes right back to the same plodding pace.
I did give it one star each for Heather Locklear and Ned Beatty, and one star for providing me with my laugh of the day.
The painfully slooooow pace and the stilted dialogue, not to mention the deliciously horrid acting, give this movie a satisfyingly soporific sensibility. Forget warm milk, sleeping pills, or bedtime stories, let the quiet calm of this production gently lull you into a sweet slumber.
Everything seems like it's on a time lag. Line. Pause. Response. Pause. Line. Pause. Response. Pause. Repeat as needed (cos it sure seemed like that's what the director did).
Oh, you want examples? Ok, so you know how when you're watching a love scene and you sometimes feel that twinge of discomfort? Well, here it's not the perceived eroticism that makes you cringe, it's the laughable stillness that makes you feel embarrassed for the actors. Not only does the chick lay there like a dead fish, the guy does too! So it's like watching two dead fish just sort of laying on top of one another.
Then there's this one scene marked by the quiet tick-tick of a clock counting down to the moment we finally surrender to the ... but, wait!! Something's happening, yes!! There's been a shooting!! Is it real or imagined?? Yeah, who cares, cos then it goes right back to the same plodding pace.
I did give it one star each for Heather Locklear and Ned Beatty, and one star for providing me with my laugh of the day.