Almost Human (1974)
7/10
"Now get to work."
25 April 2020
Warning: Spoilers
Director Umberto Lenzi is perhaps best known for his infamous video nasty Cannibal Ferox, "banned in 31 countries" for its graphic violent content. It's no great surprise, then, to find that he displays a similar lack of restraint in some of his earlier Poliziotteschis (Italian police/crime dramas): Almost Human might not be as explicitly gory as Ferox, but its tone is still downright rotten, with Tomas Milian playing an utterly reprehensible character - sadistic, psychotic and willing to kill anyone who gets in his way.

Milian plays Giulio Sacchi, a petty criminal with big plans: to kidnap the daughter of a wealthy businessman and hold her for ransom. Together with two of his low-life pals, he carries out the crime, leaving a trail of bodies in his wake. Giulio's asking price for the return of Mary Lou (Laura Belli) is a cool 500 million lira, but the cold-blooded killer has no intention of letting the girl live. While the kidnappers wait for their payment, Commissario Walter Grandi (Henry Silva) investigates, hoping to track down the ruthless men before anything bad happens to the girl.

An innocent traffic cop is the first to be killed by Giulio in this brutal thriller, followed by a nightwatchman, an arms dealer and his wife, and the boyfriend of kidnap victim Mary Lou. But it is a home invasion during a dinner party that is the film's most shocking scene: Guilio guns down one man as he tries to offer them money. The remaining three adults - two women and a man - are then forced to perform oral sex on the thugs (yes, even the man), before being hung from a chandelier (the women stripped from the waist up). Giulio machine-guns the unfortunate trio, but not before shooting the young daughter of one of the women. It's nasty stuff indeed.

Guilio further illustrates his callousness by killing his girlfriend Iona (Anita Strindberg), who threatens to go to the police, following through on his promise to kill Mary Lou, and blowing away his two partners in crime. Guilio escapes capture with half his cash (dropping the other half during a fire-fight with Grandi and his men) and gets himself an alibi courtesy of crime boss Ugo Majone (Luciano Catenacci), one that sees him walking free, even though Grandi is convinced of his guilt.

With the violence as ugly as it is in real life, Almost Human is quite the shocker. It's a shame that Lenzi blows it right at the end with a highly unbelievable scene of retribution, Grandi taking the law into his own hands by gunning down Guilio in broad daylight. It's a downbeat ending in keeping with the overall nihilistic tone, but it just doesn't ring true (if you're gonna turn vigilante, at least do it when there aren't witnesses around).
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