Grand Isle (2019)
3/10
Tennessee Williams Meets Direct to Streaming Nonsense Meets Horrible Accents
10 March 2021
Warning: Spoilers
Grand Isle is an absolute misfire at an attempt to make a Southern-fried Gothic Louisiana thriller, and wow is it bad.

It features a vague, unclear plot about child abduction...or maybe adult abduction, voodoo, and several story threads left unclear, because we have to make room for scenes of Cage ranting as drunken, mulleted former marine "Walt" and his wife "Fancy" who are running a kidnapping scheme that starts with luring in a handyman to fix a broken fence and ends with him finding bodies in the basement kept alive with blood-drip IVs, even though that's more or less passed over as a story element.

Cage's Southern accent sounds pretty silly, and it fades in and out throughout the movie, but who takes the cake is Frasier Crane himself, Kelsey Grammer (who is a fantastic actor usually) doing a comical Foghorn Leghorn Southern gentleman accent that's only there about 40% of the time. "Walt! It ain tooo layaate! We can seddle this ovah a BEE-AH!"

The plot device of using a hurricane to keep the handyman stuck at Cage's home wears thin. Eventually, any reasonable person would risk the weather after a proposition for murder, attempted assault, and an attempt at an affair happened all in the same night. The dialogue, twists, and performances in general are all hamfisted and poorly thought-out.

The film ends with an armed stand-off that doesn't at all fit the tone of the rest of the movie, and hilarious and silly melodrama from Nicolas Cage and Kelsey Grammer. Only watch this if you're a fan of laughing at awful movies and have an insane obsession over Nicolas Cage.
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