Horsemen (2009)
3/10
Broken Souls
24 July 2021
Warning: Spoilers
I was behind this movie for a while. Up until the last twenty minutes. I already knew that the "four horsemen" that the movie was about were psychotic. Once I found out that the last two were just whiny teenagers who couldn't cope, then I was done. "Horesemen" tried to create this poetic message about parental neglect and/or abuse, but it came of as sappy, didactic and pathetic.

What started off as some mysterious killers setting up tableaus of death with people hanging from specially made suspension devices with thick fish hooks, ended up being nothing but a sick cry for help by a few weak souls. With the exception of Kristin Spitz (Ziyi Zhang), the girl who'd been sexually abused by her adopted father, the other two members of the apocalypse crew were nothing but crybabies. Corey Kurth (Patrick Fugit) was devastated because his older brother wouldn't accept his sexual preference, and Alex Breslin (Lou Taylor Pucci), son of the main character, was upset because his father worked too much and "wasn't there for him." It was enough to make you cry fake tears.

This could've been a clever murder mystery, but it started falling apart right around the time Kristin turned herself in. Sure, she wanted to be caught so that the world would know why she did what she did, but her character became this annoying, disinterested, tarty teen for no apparent reason. Every interaction she had with the lead detective Aidan Breslin (Dennis Quaid) was an episode of her pretending to be the female Hannibal Lecter playing games to show how intelligent she is and how in control she is. She was presenting the face and attitude of a sociopath when she was truly a broken young lady. It was sad.

Equally sad was when Breslin found the evidence of the sexual misconduct by Mr. Spitz (Peter Stormare). It was none other than photos tucked in a Bible. So exasperating. Who takes photos of such a deed and who keeps those photos in a Bible where they can be easily found?

The movie ended with Alex Breslin being the white horse (green, red, and black were already found). He was distraught ever since his mother died. His father wasn't there for her death and he continued to be absent, lost in his work, after her death. Alex would make him suffer for that by killing himself.

While the sad music played and Aidan Breslin boo-hooed I only thought, "How pathetic." Kids throughout the world are born into bad circumstances and yet they live, and some even thrive being made stronger by their struggle, yet here I am watching two weak-minded teens take their life because the world isn't fair. Do I think such things should happen to kids? No. Is that life? Yes, now get over yourself.
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