3/10
Be careful what you wish for.
5 September 2021
Warning: Spoilers
After the success of Wonder Woman (2017), I expect a lot of DC fans (and Gal Gadot fans) were wishing for a bigger and even better sequel for the beautiful Amazonian princess. Well, they've got the bigger sequel they wanted, but better? Nope... trickster god Dolos seems to have pulled another fast one: WW84 is one terrible scene after another, a film destined for a cult following perhaps, purely because it is so awful.

The ridiculous plot revolves around a mythical stone (created by Dolos, the god of mischief) that can grant the holder a single wish, and which falls into the hands of an unscrupulous wannabe oil baron, but incredibly, it's not this singular lame idea that ruins the movie, but rather the countless idiotic things that happen throughout. There are so many bad scenes in the film that listing them all would take an age, but here's some of my 'favourites':

Resurrected WW2 pilot Steve Trevor (Chris Pine) doing a 'Pretty Woman' by trying on a range of 'hilarious' '80s fashion. Oh, how I didn't laugh.

Steve mistaking a trash can for a piece of modern art. I have no words.

Steve being able to fly a fully-fuelled jet fighter, stored at the Smithsonian, without any prior knowledge (with Wonder Woman managing to turn the plane invisible-turns out she's David bloody Copperfield!). Also, they fly the plane very slowly through some fireworks.

Wonder Woman doing a quick change into her costume in a moving car.

Some dumb Egyptian kids playing football in the middle of a road despite being surrounded by miles and miles of desert perfect for a kickabout.

Wonder Woman lassoing a passenger jet (just how long is that lasso anyway?), followed by her lassoing a cloud and a lightning bolt. What's next? Lassoing ideas and dreams?

Kristen Wiig transforming into Bombalurina from Cats.

And as if all that wasn't terrible enough, the sickening saccharine finalé involves Wonder Woman using her lasso (now normal length) to SHOW the bad guy the truth. Good job they introduced that idea earlier in the film...

3.5/10, rounded down to 3 for Gadot's lousy performance: she's a beautiful woman with a great pair of legs (still no match for Lynda Carter, though), but she really isn't much of an actress.
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