I watched Island Claws, and Moonstalker, as a double bill a few Halloweens back, and I dunno, Island Claws has a certain charm about it. (I always add it to my Halloween movie month.) It's just silly fun like any other oversized monster movie. Don't take it serious. Turn off your brain and watch it for the ending as some big red & yellow crab, (Big boss Clawgrip from Super Mario Brothers 2,) attacks a tavern as they serve up lousy gumbo.
My DVD-R copy is a straight up VHS rip. Poor quality and all. You can barely see what's on the screen half the time.
Listen to that introduction music. That could be from any 70's TV movie, or nightclub.
So Snow White lobs into a crab factory laboratory - where they manufacture and distribute the production of marine life - and asks for permission to run a story on crabs.
All the males drool, and salivate, and approve her presence without hesitation, hoping to introduce her to their own personal crab collection.
Like any monster movie, there's a nuclear leak at a nearby power plant. This conveniently explains, for the movies sake, why our villain will be half the size of King Kong unlike the bunch of sidewinders who just washed ashore and marched into town, on a mission to nowhere.
You know what would make a great movie villain? A giant sea horse.
There's a drawn out scene at "The Half Shell Bar," banjo music and all, where not much happens. No one's died yet either and I'm 25-minutes in.
Our first victim is attacked in his own caravan and I love how the hordes of crabs make mouse noises.
Sensing our first victims fear, and presence, inside his humble abode, the crabs home invade, uninvited, and our first victim trashes his own joint in desperation and somehow his banjo ignites a fire on a table top and a raging inferno bakes all inside like a combination human/crab roast.
Movie's a bit flat in places. I don't care about the human interactions. I just wanna see the crabs wrecking havoc.
Snow White takes a Karate Kid tumble off her bike while sightseeing and the marauding crab forces pursue after her like an obsessed pen friend. They make it personal and she becomes the apple of their eye and object of their affection. So everyone wants a piece of Snow White but the star quarterback jock beats everyone to it and she becomes loverboys property.
Meanwhile some shaggy haired clown proposes marriage to Lindsay Wagner, she stutters and stammers, and has other desires about underwater ocean men and spits in his face and rejects his offer. It's embarrassing to watch. But what has that scene to do with killer crabs?
Crabs bop off a dog here, attack a few girls there. Dog comes back to life, but dies a minute later again. Is that Tampa Bay?
Burnt by the dogs passing, the town forms a posse and go in search of a deadend.
Then a giant lobster fist goes after Snow White and totals a house she's cowering in. I love how it makes wild animal noises.
The big mother crab appears at the 1-hour 16-minute mark in a "I got 'cha" moment. It growls in anger; people run, electric sparks fly, shotguns crossfire, bullets don't phase Clawgrips armor, gas station explodes.
Clawgrip doesn't really do anything but move its paws around and roars in disapproval of being on the land.
If ya looking for its soft spot, boys, shoot it in the eye. It's not rocket science.
Movie's so dark I dunno what they did to defeat it? Stabbed it with a shovel, or something?
Let me tell you something, you haven't lived life until you've seen Island Claws.
My DVD-R copy is a straight up VHS rip. Poor quality and all. You can barely see what's on the screen half the time.
Listen to that introduction music. That could be from any 70's TV movie, or nightclub.
So Snow White lobs into a crab factory laboratory - where they manufacture and distribute the production of marine life - and asks for permission to run a story on crabs.
All the males drool, and salivate, and approve her presence without hesitation, hoping to introduce her to their own personal crab collection.
Like any monster movie, there's a nuclear leak at a nearby power plant. This conveniently explains, for the movies sake, why our villain will be half the size of King Kong unlike the bunch of sidewinders who just washed ashore and marched into town, on a mission to nowhere.
You know what would make a great movie villain? A giant sea horse.
There's a drawn out scene at "The Half Shell Bar," banjo music and all, where not much happens. No one's died yet either and I'm 25-minutes in.
Our first victim is attacked in his own caravan and I love how the hordes of crabs make mouse noises.
Sensing our first victims fear, and presence, inside his humble abode, the crabs home invade, uninvited, and our first victim trashes his own joint in desperation and somehow his banjo ignites a fire on a table top and a raging inferno bakes all inside like a combination human/crab roast.
Movie's a bit flat in places. I don't care about the human interactions. I just wanna see the crabs wrecking havoc.
Snow White takes a Karate Kid tumble off her bike while sightseeing and the marauding crab forces pursue after her like an obsessed pen friend. They make it personal and she becomes the apple of their eye and object of their affection. So everyone wants a piece of Snow White but the star quarterback jock beats everyone to it and she becomes loverboys property.
Meanwhile some shaggy haired clown proposes marriage to Lindsay Wagner, she stutters and stammers, and has other desires about underwater ocean men and spits in his face and rejects his offer. It's embarrassing to watch. But what has that scene to do with killer crabs?
Crabs bop off a dog here, attack a few girls there. Dog comes back to life, but dies a minute later again. Is that Tampa Bay?
Burnt by the dogs passing, the town forms a posse and go in search of a deadend.
Then a giant lobster fist goes after Snow White and totals a house she's cowering in. I love how it makes wild animal noises.
The big mother crab appears at the 1-hour 16-minute mark in a "I got 'cha" moment. It growls in anger; people run, electric sparks fly, shotguns crossfire, bullets don't phase Clawgrips armor, gas station explodes.
Clawgrip doesn't really do anything but move its paws around and roars in disapproval of being on the land.
If ya looking for its soft spot, boys, shoot it in the eye. It's not rocket science.
Movie's so dark I dunno what they did to defeat it? Stabbed it with a shovel, or something?
Let me tell you something, you haven't lived life until you've seen Island Claws.