Crossing Jordan (2001–2007)
1/10
Not so very long ago, in a place that never existed
4 May 2022
A driver's license doesn't mean you can just drive over people's lawns and violate the law willy-nilly when it is inconvenient.

The same should be true of dramatic license. As any rookie cop or any person who has worked for more than a day in the criminal justice system could tell you, Crossing Jordan bears about as close a relationship to reality as Peter Pan does to practical aeronautics.

To start with: NO, morgue doctors and employees DO NOT go out and interview crime witnesses. NO, morgue workers do not take flyers and "buck the system" to learn the REAL reason John Doe was shot/poisoned/strangled to death. They would be fired immediately.

NO, random civilians do not just wander into autopsies demanding what they THINK will solve the crime. Such civilians would be tossed out, if not arrested for trespass. NO, Deputy M. E.s do not sleep with witnesses and relatives of the deceased. And NO, Deputy M. E.s do NOT race around packing heat and shooting bad guys.

Crossing Jordan is a bird's eye view of the utter nonsense American TV churns out with nauseating regularity. This show is only an particularly egregious example of the Hollywood fantasy that viewers are fed across the viewing spectrum.

The irony is that actual law enforcement work is fascinating and often hysterically funny. This is... not. Hugely awful. Oh, and it's "set" in Boston, a city the show flees at every opportunity to go to Los Angeles, where Jordan packs heat and solves murders, sparing the production the bothersome chore of portraying the city of Boston.

When it DOES shoot in Boston (Second Unit only, of course), it gets nothing right. Ken Howard does try to employ a Boston accent. Don't worry - they get rid of him as soon as it is possible. The building they use as "City Hall" is NOT the true City Hall. That would mean learning where Boston's City Hall is, so they use some anonymous skyscraper they found on old stock footage of somewhere else and try to fob off as the real one.

Otherwise, this weak tea of a soap opera gives us a cast of "doctors" who sleep with material witnesses, journalist, detectives, and anyone else who happens to catch Jordan's eye, none of them appropriate. In reality, sleeping with any of them would result in Jordan's immediate termination if this was actually, you know, the world we live in.

This show is the reason real lawyers and doctors and professionals of every other stripe hate network TV. They know that life is not a six-season foray into the world of the "chick flick".

Abysmal. Avoid at all costs.
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