Review of Taekwondo

Taekwondo (2016)
3/10
Lacks much plot, and it's S-L-O-W
18 July 2022
It was the film "The Blonde One" that led me to "Taekwondo." I was so taken by that film by Marco Berger, that I was eager to see another. Maybe I should have quite while I was ahead.

The Blonde One is a beautifully crafted film, with a strong plot, and superb acting - coupled with excellent direction and camera work.

Taekwondo didn't live up to my expectations at all. The movie is an hour and 48 minutes - but it easily felt like 3 hours. While there is certainly the eye-candy aspect to this film, with some great shots of some great looking guys, the movie seems s-l-o-w and nearly plotless.

Taekwondo is more like looking in on an adolescent vacation. Guys being guys without parental oversight.

There is some sexual ambiguity and tension between what I would call the two main characters - the owner of the house and his friend from Taekwondo. One might (or at least I did) expect that sooner or later SOMEthing will happen between them. But nothing does. Some interested glances here and there. Some almost-touching closeness. But it's always diffused, interrupted by someone walking in, or by a game that suddenly breaks out among the guys.

We watch the guys shower, swim, play tennis or kick a soccer ball around the tennis court. And the guys seem to sleep a lot. Maybe even they are bored by the lack of plot. They play hide-and-seek. And talk about their sexual conquests with the girls, or ruminate over fidelity, still unsure what their relationships with girls are supposed to look like. And now and again they conjecture on whether this or that one is gay.

The director keeps the film somewhat interesting with nice camera perspectives that often focus on a body part - like a crotch or butt. There are glimpses of bare butts and sometimes guys bare it all. But there's not enough story line to string it together, and the movie is ultimately pretty boring.
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