1/10
The Pits
10 August 2022
Warning: Spoilers
This movie is the pits. I've seen many movies completely out of touch with reality (and yes I understand they're movies); this has to be 1931's detached from reality winner.

The co-ed doing the confessing in this pitiful movie is Patricia Harper (Sylvia Sidney). The movie began with her being a freshman at Stafford College. Right away she was heavily pursued by two guys, Dan Carter (Phillips Holmes) and Hal Evans (Norman Foster). Dan was the more aggressive, skilled, and desirable of the two.

Dan put some heavy moves on her and brought out some lines he'd carefully crafted, such as:

"You're the first girl that I've ever met that I'd rather talk to than kiss."

Pat was sunk. He had her hook, line, and sinker. She went back to her dorm room to wistfully write in her diary about the swell guy she'd just met.

Peggy (Claudia Dell), Pat's sorority sister, was steamed. Dan was her man. She told her to keep away, and also told her not to fall for the line that he gives every woman.

Pat's bubble was burst. Dan was a creep.

Sometime later Dan got Pat alone to work on her again. Pat, intentionally or unintentionally forgetting about their first encounter, fell for his charm one more time. She playfully resisted him initially, but his pursuit was too much for her to resist and she fell in love with him.

I thought it was a bit pathetic, but it happens. Maybe Dan was reformed or maybe Pat didn't mind being one of his conquests.

Skipping ahead a bit more and Dan was kicked out of school. He left school rather unceremoniously which left Pat a broken woman. That one day or so she spent with Dan was so magical she couldn't get over him. What she didn't know is that Hal, in a fit of jealousy, got Dan kicked out so that he could have her. Hal didn't do anything really shady, he just told the dean about an incident Dan was guilty of before and had gotten away with.

Skipping ahead three years and Pat is now married to Hal and they have a son. And Pat is STILL in love with Dan.

This is the part I don't get. I admit my heart runs a little colder than most, but I can't imagine 1.) falling in love with someone after one night. 2.) Still being in love with that same person who walked out of my life three years ago and whom I haven't heard a peep from since. But here was Pat, unhappy in her large home because she still loved Dan. Like "Titanic," Dan must've given Pat the best twenty-four hours of her life.

Dan showed up at Hal's job intent on reuniting with Pat, not knowing that he and Pat were married. Hal mentioned that he was now married, but he decidedly kept it a secret who his wife was. Dan said he came back to town for one woman and also didn't mention the name. Obviously, they were talking about the same woman.

When Dan finally revealed that he came back for Pat, Hal was noticeably bothered, but he still didn't mention that he was married to Pat.

Then the scene got otherworldly.

While Hal was still keeping his marriage to Pat a secret from Dan, he asked Dan, "Couldn't she have forgotten all about you?"

With total confidence Dan said, "No, I don't think so. No she hasn't forgotten. Peggy and the others, sure. Not her."

Translation: "I gave it to her so good there's no way she forgot about me. That girl was sprung."

This translation is spot on, because that's exactly how Hal understood it, and Pat confirmed it.

When Pat made her entrance and it was clear that she was married to Hal that gave Dan pause, but it didn't deter him. Then, without saying it, Pat confirmed that she slept with Dan and essentially said that her son belonged to Dan, not Hal. It took some reading between the lines, but it was clear.

Allow me to illustrate:

She told her husband, Hal, that there was something else she had to tell him that he wouldn't like, and before she got it out, her three year old son came downstairs with blondish hair like Dan's. The little boy spoke to Dan kindly while never speaking to Hal while Pat exchanged glances with Dan that said, "Yes, he's yours." Of course, they never say it because God forbid she openly admit to having premarital sex and a child out of wedlock in 1931.

After that scene in which nothing, yet everything was said, Pat asked Hal, "What do you want? Divorce?" as Hal sat stewing.

Dan boldly chimed in, "I hope he does Pat because I've come back to marry you and that's all I've come back for."

It was comical and infuriating at the same time.

After a few more minutes of conversation and Pat battling with her feelings she broke down and admitted she still loved Dan. Dan confidently told Hal, "Hal, I'm taking her with me," to which Hal simply answered with a smile, "There's nothing I can do about it. You've licked me this time," like he just lost at marbles.

The final ten minutes of this tripe was just bizarre. None of it registered with me. From Pat still being in love with Dan to Hal easily giving her up, it was all nonsensical to me. Some 1930's films showed some strange relationships, but this was by far the worst.
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