I'm not against a trashy film. I'll be honest, I didn't go into Jurassic World 2 thinking it'll be high cinema. I expected to be mildly entertained for a few hours while I go "ooh dinosaurs". What then following was two of the most painful hours I have ever spent watching what you can technically call a film I suppose.
It feels like two films mashed together, it feels like it was made in the mid 90's and then left on a disc somewhere for twenty years. I have never IN MY LIFE wanted a character dead more than 'Franklin Webb'. That pathetic excuse for a character was every single reductive stereotype of "ooh look I'm the NERDY one" from the last 15 years crammed into one. Not to even mention this film actually had the NERVE to make a character say "English please" after a very basic sentence that an intelligent 6 year old could probably decifer.
I could talk about them acting like you could buy a LIVING DINOSAUR for the same price as Jordan Henderson in 2011. I could talk about them sort of glossing over the fact they CLONED A CHILD. I could bring up the fact I then sort of expected that child to be half dinosaur and it somehow would only have made the film better. I won't.
Instead, here I am, 4 years after this atrocity released, making an IMDB account to tell you, nay, BEG YOU to not watch this. Do not waste your time. Chris Pratt does a wonderful Chris Pratt impression. Jeff Goldblum is here also. I guess.
I hate this film.
It feels like two films mashed together, it feels like it was made in the mid 90's and then left on a disc somewhere for twenty years. I have never IN MY LIFE wanted a character dead more than 'Franklin Webb'. That pathetic excuse for a character was every single reductive stereotype of "ooh look I'm the NERDY one" from the last 15 years crammed into one. Not to even mention this film actually had the NERVE to make a character say "English please" after a very basic sentence that an intelligent 6 year old could probably decifer.
I could talk about them acting like you could buy a LIVING DINOSAUR for the same price as Jordan Henderson in 2011. I could talk about them sort of glossing over the fact they CLONED A CHILD. I could bring up the fact I then sort of expected that child to be half dinosaur and it somehow would only have made the film better. I won't.
Instead, here I am, 4 years after this atrocity released, making an IMDB account to tell you, nay, BEG YOU to not watch this. Do not waste your time. Chris Pratt does a wonderful Chris Pratt impression. Jeff Goldblum is here also. I guess.
I hate this film.