Mozambique (1964)
2/10
Amateurish color noir shot in Rhodesia, South Africa, nil to do with Mozambique
30 August 2022
In 1964, the year of production of MOZAMBIQUE, that territory was a Portuguese colony in East Africa. Well, the only thing Portuguese that appears in the entire film is some shots of Lisbon, the Portuguese capital, at the very start of this British-South African-German production.

Immediately reducing the film's authenticity, the names of supposed Portuguese cops and criminals are either Italian (Commaro) or Spanish (Gonzalez, Valdez, Rodriguez, etc). The only Portuguese word one hears is "obrigado" (thank you). The rest, even words like señora and señorita, are Spanish, which I - born and bred to the age of 16 in colonial Mozambique - never heard while there.

The official language being Portuguese, the only Portuguese word I saw was "bar", which is written exactly the same way in English. All public notices, company names and adverts are in English, a very rare occurrence in colonial Mozambique. Furthermore, car license plates are not Mozambican, they are Rhodesian.

Given that then Southern Rhodesia was landlocked, as Zimbabwe is today, the port scenes you see are surely South African, possibly Durban.

The buildings are all of British design, there is no Portuguese architecture on sight. The police uniforms are not Portuguese, in fact I saw no distinguishable badges or other insignia.

Southern Rhodesia would declare UDI (Unilateral Declaration of Independence) the following year, 1965, as the UK came under increasing pressure to grant independence to its colonies. Given that white British citizens ran Southern Rhodesia, clearly the UK authorities and studios where this film was edited, thought it bad for business to label it with anything connected to the then fading British Empire.

The solution? Make the Portuguese look bad instead by naming it Mozambique, quickly run up a few supposedly Portuguese names - Da Silva is the most common of all Portuguese surnames, so a character so named does appear on the roll - and let the fan spatter it at leisure.

No doubt as a joke, and to give the film producers some of their own venom, the Portuguese authorities rendered the film's title as "Operação Zanzibar" (Operation Zanzibar). It is true that 10% of the film takes place on that island off then British colony Tanganyika, now Tanzania, but Portuguese spectators certainly wondered why a flick entitled MOZAMBIQUE should go on show as OPERATION ZANZIBAR instead. About 15 minutes into the flick and you knew why: it had naught to do with Mozambique.

As for the film itself, Steve Cochran looks too old for the part, his hairline receding badly. He plays a pilot who survived a crash and now fears flying, but dishy Vivi Bach helps distract him while aboard a Lufthansa aircraft. The support cast of unknowns is pretty dire, the saving graces being two stunningly beautiful women, Hildegaard Knef as the femme fatale and Vivi Bach. The former even sings a song in German - an out and out rarity in Mozambique in 1964 - and other songs are heard in restaurants where waiters speak native English, no accent at all.

The ageing Cochran, his career in decline, must have been in bad need of a paycheck, or he would never agree to participate in this farse. But all is not bad for the aged character he portrays: he has both female beauties interested in him, and manages to get into Bach's room in the dead of night and - lo and behold! - she promptly opens up to him. James Bond had just emerged as a film franchise with DR NO, FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE and GOLDFINGER, but not even Bond did it better!

South African actor Gert vanden Bergh plays an Arab smuggler, looking much too fat and white for the part.

The script is patchy, jagged, full of flat characters, and with more holes than the proverbial Swiss cheese. One sequence where Cochran and Bach are fleeing Zanzibari cops armed with rifles is particularly ludicrous: Bach is barefoot, Cochran looks old, yet they keep gaining in relation to their pursuers, who cannot fire a shot right to save their lives.

Cochran even has time to find rope, be the gentleman and allow Back to climb a wall first, go down the outside wall and jump onto a guard, thankfully avoiding impalement on the rifle.

The film's climax takes place at the famously beautiful Victoria Falls, in then Rhodesian territory. One of the main villains falls too suspiciously like a doll from the glorious Victoria Falls Bridge, which must have been a source of pride to Brits and Rhodesians alike at the time.

However... climax outside of Mozambique in a film entitled MOZAMBIQUE defies logic.

One star for decent photography, the other for gorgeous Knef and Bach. 2/10. The rest is a tissue of misrepresentations from beginning to end, poorly acted and suffering from pedestrian direction - to put it very mildly - by Robert Lynn.

Amateurish and unintentionally laughable waste of 97 minutes.
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