I know there are larger issues here with the awful CGI, bad acting, insanely long runtime, incompetent writing, and Paul Feig's hack directing but,
1. Why did Aggie kiss Sophie after she died? Why is that your first response when your friend dies? Neither of the characters were likeable, there were no emotional stakes, and they never seemed like friends.
2. Tedros murdered Aggie's friend in front of her, but she forgot about it, then fell in love with him. She punched him, which they laughed off as a joke, then it was never discussed again.
3. The conflict is motivated by the headmaster grooming Sophie, a minor, and no one seems to think it's odd.
4. Sophie nearly killed her classmate, then they became friends when she got a haircut? Somehow Sophie's personality changes after her makeover and she becomes friends with everyone who hated her.
5. And we probably should've addressed the pond full of imprisoned children souls.
6. Can we explain how Rafal teleports, appears in mirrors, and is pretty much omniscient? "Blood magic" is just code for lazy writing.
7. Michelle Yeoh was criminally underutilized, but she killed it in all her scenes. Unfortunately, her character's arc is condensed to a single line of dialogue.
8. The soundtrack is horrible. All of the annoying pop music fits the movie like a square peg in a round hole. The most evil thing in this movie is that awful cover of Toxic. The generic orchestral background music fails to make the overly complicated plot feel engaging.
9. Why do the main characters break the first wall by acknowledging the narrator? Breaking the fourth wall isn't a joke itself, there's no punchline. There's not even a reason to have a narrator because characters dump exposition, so it's redundant.
10. Did they hire the CGI animators of Cats (2021) to do this movie? 90% of it is bad green screens; the backgrounds are always lit and color graded differently from the actors. Some of the CGI characters are truly horrifying. The fairies, in particular, are nightmare inducing. I hope to never watch this ever again.
1. Why did Aggie kiss Sophie after she died? Why is that your first response when your friend dies? Neither of the characters were likeable, there were no emotional stakes, and they never seemed like friends.
2. Tedros murdered Aggie's friend in front of her, but she forgot about it, then fell in love with him. She punched him, which they laughed off as a joke, then it was never discussed again.
3. The conflict is motivated by the headmaster grooming Sophie, a minor, and no one seems to think it's odd.
4. Sophie nearly killed her classmate, then they became friends when she got a haircut? Somehow Sophie's personality changes after her makeover and she becomes friends with everyone who hated her.
5. And we probably should've addressed the pond full of imprisoned children souls.
6. Can we explain how Rafal teleports, appears in mirrors, and is pretty much omniscient? "Blood magic" is just code for lazy writing.
7. Michelle Yeoh was criminally underutilized, but she killed it in all her scenes. Unfortunately, her character's arc is condensed to a single line of dialogue.
8. The soundtrack is horrible. All of the annoying pop music fits the movie like a square peg in a round hole. The most evil thing in this movie is that awful cover of Toxic. The generic orchestral background music fails to make the overly complicated plot feel engaging.
9. Why do the main characters break the first wall by acknowledging the narrator? Breaking the fourth wall isn't a joke itself, there's no punchline. There's not even a reason to have a narrator because characters dump exposition, so it's redundant.
10. Did they hire the CGI animators of Cats (2021) to do this movie? 90% of it is bad green screens; the backgrounds are always lit and color graded differently from the actors. Some of the CGI characters are truly horrifying. The fairies, in particular, are nightmare inducing. I hope to never watch this ever again.