3/10
Two bright stars in a dark sky
10 December 2022
I'd been looking forward to Buttons: A Christmas Tale for such a long time! Dick Van Dyke and Angela Lansbury playing guardian angels, a heartwarming tale about orphan girls, and a festive musical - what else could I ask for? Well. . . I could ask for a decent screenplay, and acting that wasn't cringeworthy, and perhaps subject matter that wasn't so depressing. The two reasons that drew in every audience member didn't disappoint, and while it's insultingly obvious to say they shole the show, they did.

The bulk of the movie is told in a flashback format, as Angela Lansbury visits a sick orphan on Christmas Eve and reads her a story to cheer her up. She tells the story of a little girl, Alivia Clarke, who has one run of bad luck after another in what ends up amounting to a terrible life. But, since she has a guardian angel, Dick Van Dyke, she keeps her spirits up and knows someone's on her side. It's inspiring, heartwarming, and downright lovely to see Dick singing, dancing, and brightening up the screen during the musical numbers. And Angela is perfectly charming as a combination Mary Poppins and Mrs. Potts, caring for her sick charge. The cinematography in Buttons was beautiful, with lush landscapes, pretty costumes, and saturated colors and lighting that added quality to the production.

Now for the bad news. The dialogue sounded like it was the first draft of a church play. Most of the cast acted very contemporary, despite the period setting. Those whom you don't recognize probably had very little experience before trying out with the pros, or at least that's what it seemed like. And now the songs: Every single number blatantly ripped off a previously successful song from an established musical - from "Bring Him Home" to "It's a Hard Knock Life" to "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life", the songs from Buttons can almost be sung simultaneously with their originals. Isn't anyone going to shout "plagiarism"? The supposedly sweet story that Angela reads aloud is far from it. It's very depressing, hardly appropriate for children at all, and not at all festive for Christmas. Why did the movie have to so much of a downer? Also, I don't know why the title was settled on Buttons, when the segment that honors it is extremely brief.

Yes, everyone is going to want to see this movie. Dick Van Dyke and Angela Lansbury are adorable. And surprisingly, there's quite a supporting cast that agreed to attach their names to such a mediocre project: Jane Seymour, Robert Picardo, Abigail Spencer, Paul Greene, John de Lancie, and very, very brief narrations from Robert Redford and Kate Winslet.

DLM Warning: If you suffer from vertigo or dizzy spells, like my mom does, this movie might not be your friend. The very first minute of the movie features an intense spinning camera effect, and that will make you sick. In other words, "Don't Look, Mom!"
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