Review of Lambada

Lambada (I) (1990)
2/10
Very very bad, but hugely entertaining
8 March 2023
Warning: Spoilers
"A maths professor working at a posh school leads a double life : in the evenings he dresses in black leather, rides a giant motorcycle and dances in a hot-hot-hot nightclub. Actually he leads a triple life, since he teaches maths and other subjects to the younger clients of the nightclub. Thanks to his charm and cool he convinces many young people to study, to sit for exams or simply to stay in school."

Does the premise mentioned above sound sane ? If your answer is "yes", then you're likely to enjoy "Lambada" for its warmly inspirational message. If you can't answer because you're laughing so hard lemonade squirts out of your nose, then you're also going to enjoy the movie, although for a different set of reasons.

Me, I fell squarely into the second category and yes, I did indeed enjoy every misbegotten, misfiring second. In fact "Lambada" cheered me up no end, like a well-made Irish coffee after a long walk in the drizzle.

I think this is a truly godawful movie. However, it yields a rich harvest in involuntary comedy. Apart from the main premise, which is enough to fry one's brain by itself, there are many many other defects, such as the non-stop succession of clichés. There's also the fact that many of the actors playing high-school students look at least twenty-five. J. Eddie Peck, who plays the maths teacher / lambada dancer / idealist / apostle of Latino pride, finds it difficult to suggest anything else than baby-faced prettiness, which turns the sight of him being b-b-b-bad to the bone on a powerful motorcycle into comedy gold.

Moreover, the movie touches upon a number of serious societal problems - such as the effects of racism and social inequality on school results - without showing even a flicker of depth, maturity or modesty.

The finale of the movie consists of a triumphant vindication of the maths teacher, who has proven that students from all backgrounds can do well at maths, if given enough attention and encouragement. In the audience his wife listens to his speech with tears in her eyes, perhaps out of connubial tenderness, perhaps because she's just realized she's wasted ten years of her life on a guy who spends his evenings dancing with sexy half-naked girls. It is hard being married to a saint.

Now let's all dance a jolly hypotenuse !
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