"Smash-Up on Interstate 5": a disaster movie?
It's not on the same magnitude as "Earthquake," which runs for three hours.
So, highway patrol is in pursuit of a hippy van that's involved in criminal offensive side eye and has other outstanding warrants for unpaid pink and green slips.
Hang on a second.
The crash has already happened, but I missed what set it off, so let me rewind this and find out who's the culprit.
A blue suede Elvis auto from the 50s cuts in without indicating, which sets off a chain reaction where the dominoes fall in a scene of carnage.
Marion Crane swerves into a stationary hearse from "The Munsters," only it's had a paint job.
Ohhh, the Elvis clunker and its occupants are at fault. The old lady has heartburn, which distracts the driver's attention.
Evil Knievel is flung from his bike while his girlfriend loses traction due to a bald grip and just slips into an early grave.
It's all happening out here.
Even the truck from "T2" gets in on the act and is at it again, causing major carnage as well.
Is that Tommy Lee Jones? So, this is what he did before becoming Samuel Gerard?
The movie cuts back to what happened 25 hours earlier and retells how we get to the carnage point that unfolds at the start.
Movies today and their writers aren't clever enough to do that.
They'd rather insert the characters religious beliefs and sexual orientation.
The hippy van with the outstanding warrants is harboring Pearl and her "X" companions. It's a major player in the movie, but it's confusing as it switches it up later.
A college star quarterback, on a million-dollar scholarship, sticks up a store as he's underpaid, like the current striking WGA members, and pops somebody trying to be a hero, so he uses his girlfriend to bait some Scooby-Doo dude called Lee - no, not that Zodiac false lead Lee, and I've seen this Lee guy in something else before! It's driving me batty what I've seen him in. Um, it's "Bad Ronald." Bad Ronald's taken hostage by the star quarterback, who goes one further and blasts Tommy Lee Jones away, so how the hell can he track Dr. Kimble when he was just wasted? Killed over a silly traffic stop for a flat tire? Okay. That's some Starkweather badness right there.
Bad Ronald lives up to his name and jacks the jackers, abducts Pearl and her "X" companions, stores them in a footlocker, and steals their ride.
The fuse that lights the entire wick at the start of the movie, the one with terminal heartburn, tries to commit suicide as a way out as she overdoses on Tums. I like the chemistry between these two old-timers. Their acting is calm and puts a smile on my face. What did she call him again when he bought her that house? You big dumb something jackass? It made me laugh. I actually rewound it and played it again. Good stuff.
Everyone's personal story involved is compelling and holds your interest. It's well paced and dedicates the right amount of time to each individual's background, character, and history.
I'm a bit uncomfortable with this young truck driver and his mother forming an intimate bond that ends with them sharing a bed together.
I guess they're all pretty liberal in California, so whatever floats your boat, eh?
Things don't work out between the pair anyway, so they part ways the next morning.
It's anybody's guess who's actually culpable for this interstate shemozzle, as it's a culmination of a few who are responsible: the cops, Bad Ronald, the Tums addict who tried to commit suicide, hell, even the "T2" truck pitching in didn't help, but the official report, according to the end of the movie, blames the prang on mechanical failure.
Maybe the cops should have stuck to their instructed 55-mile-an-hour mantra, and none of this would have happened.
Just saying.
"Hey jerk, speed kills." "Are we learning yet?"
It's not on the same magnitude as "Earthquake," which runs for three hours.
So, highway patrol is in pursuit of a hippy van that's involved in criminal offensive side eye and has other outstanding warrants for unpaid pink and green slips.
Hang on a second.
The crash has already happened, but I missed what set it off, so let me rewind this and find out who's the culprit.
A blue suede Elvis auto from the 50s cuts in without indicating, which sets off a chain reaction where the dominoes fall in a scene of carnage.
Marion Crane swerves into a stationary hearse from "The Munsters," only it's had a paint job.
Ohhh, the Elvis clunker and its occupants are at fault. The old lady has heartburn, which distracts the driver's attention.
Evil Knievel is flung from his bike while his girlfriend loses traction due to a bald grip and just slips into an early grave.
It's all happening out here.
Even the truck from "T2" gets in on the act and is at it again, causing major carnage as well.
Is that Tommy Lee Jones? So, this is what he did before becoming Samuel Gerard?
The movie cuts back to what happened 25 hours earlier and retells how we get to the carnage point that unfolds at the start.
Movies today and their writers aren't clever enough to do that.
They'd rather insert the characters religious beliefs and sexual orientation.
The hippy van with the outstanding warrants is harboring Pearl and her "X" companions. It's a major player in the movie, but it's confusing as it switches it up later.
A college star quarterback, on a million-dollar scholarship, sticks up a store as he's underpaid, like the current striking WGA members, and pops somebody trying to be a hero, so he uses his girlfriend to bait some Scooby-Doo dude called Lee - no, not that Zodiac false lead Lee, and I've seen this Lee guy in something else before! It's driving me batty what I've seen him in. Um, it's "Bad Ronald." Bad Ronald's taken hostage by the star quarterback, who goes one further and blasts Tommy Lee Jones away, so how the hell can he track Dr. Kimble when he was just wasted? Killed over a silly traffic stop for a flat tire? Okay. That's some Starkweather badness right there.
Bad Ronald lives up to his name and jacks the jackers, abducts Pearl and her "X" companions, stores them in a footlocker, and steals their ride.
The fuse that lights the entire wick at the start of the movie, the one with terminal heartburn, tries to commit suicide as a way out as she overdoses on Tums. I like the chemistry between these two old-timers. Their acting is calm and puts a smile on my face. What did she call him again when he bought her that house? You big dumb something jackass? It made me laugh. I actually rewound it and played it again. Good stuff.
Everyone's personal story involved is compelling and holds your interest. It's well paced and dedicates the right amount of time to each individual's background, character, and history.
I'm a bit uncomfortable with this young truck driver and his mother forming an intimate bond that ends with them sharing a bed together.
I guess they're all pretty liberal in California, so whatever floats your boat, eh?
Things don't work out between the pair anyway, so they part ways the next morning.
It's anybody's guess who's actually culpable for this interstate shemozzle, as it's a culmination of a few who are responsible: the cops, Bad Ronald, the Tums addict who tried to commit suicide, hell, even the "T2" truck pitching in didn't help, but the official report, according to the end of the movie, blames the prang on mechanical failure.
Maybe the cops should have stuck to their instructed 55-mile-an-hour mantra, and none of this would have happened.
Just saying.
"Hey jerk, speed kills." "Are we learning yet?"