The intro blares out like it means business.
Hopefully, the rest of the movie can retain this level of confidence.
Oh, not more of this satanic crap I have to translate. With my level of education?
Hack a tay, hear me. Nock tickular hackatay, hear me. Leia, hear me. Bye barubus, bye satanus, by cherry no nose. I did the same thing not long ago with the other movie, 'The Initiation of Sarah.' It's the same deal.
A mistress of the dark, Vivian, practices voodoo and mumbles a whole gang of gibberish in an attempt to hex Harry Grimbridge through a Polaroid, using it as a medium to blow him sky high.
Grimbridge's absence as a teacher the next morning causes an inconvenience in the faculty lounge due to his unforeseen circumstances, as there are no replacements to take his place in fear that they may join him.
It's unusual in this movie that there's only about 15 students for the most part.
A new transfer student arrives in LA and comes between Michael Taylor from 'ET' and Vivian.
One girl uses the dark side of the force, while the other's a regular grifter who looks into crystal balls and burns Palo Santo.
It seems that it's a power struggle movie. Whether it's over Michael Taylor's heart or something more inward between a women's Wiccan union movement is yet to be seen.
The mistress of the dark, Vivian, reminds me of Audrey from 'European Vacation' only slimmer. You can tell Fairuza Balk's Craft character was molded from this Vivian chick, too.
"You're Pete Green, jealous of your own daughter." Or "You're bean-green jealous of your own daughter." What does the father say there? I missed that.
As if this soy-sipping emo Vivian would be the head cheerleader. I'm not buying that for a second.
Another power struggle breaks out between Vivian and her mother, who has Richard Simmons hair. They arm wrestle over a glass of expired orange juice. It's not your typical mother-daughter argument.
The cat in this is kind of cool, if I could see it, as the movie is only in 360p quality. It reminds me of the swishy-tailed cat from that 'Funeral Home' 'Psycho' rip-off.
Vivian one-ups the transfer student and burns her house down using the cat's hire service. After the cat fails in its attempt to burn the transfer student alive, a raven is then employed to scratch people's eyes out, but that's also thwarted.
The transfer student seeks out the guidance of an excommunicated auxiliary member who's trained in the ways of woolens and learns fire starter powers and rowboat nursery rhymes, which are "super," according to Elliots brother, Michael. And it's all thanks to a kyanite crystal made out of dispenser machine plastics.
Before history, first period, a levitation trajectory battle breaks out in woodwork between the two witches. Going to the score cards, I'm inclined to raise Vivian's arm in a close point decision victory.
Why doesn't the transfer student use a surprise attack and just punch Vivian in the face? It'd catch her off guard. Forget all this mind-control Jedi business.
The useless cat has a second stab and tries to kill Elliot's brother Michael again, but fails miserably and should give up as a hitman. For a high school football jock, he sure knows a lot about the occult. He's not your regular Johnny Unitas.
A final showdown is scheduled at midnight on the school grounds, where the transfer student is a heavy underdog. (But we all know she'll win.)
I wonder how many weak-minded, impressionable souls out there believe in all this garbled trash.
Only ten seconds into the fight, a surprise tactic nobody saw coming sees a goat deck the transfer student with a flash knockdown. She dusts herself off and is back up on her feet at the count of three. Call it ring rust, I guess. The fight continues but should have been stopped only 30 seconds in as the transfer student is KOed by fire and the count is up to 2 minutes by now. That's a 120-count on my watch.
Richard Simmons shows up out of the blue and tag teams with the transfer student against his own daughter. The fight ends abruptly when Vivian is consumed by Richard Simmons and fire combined.
They seem to make a sacrifice to save themselves, and apparently, due to the credits rolling, that's all she wrote in a rather underwhelming end to a lousy faceoff.
It seems Richard Simmons still held a grudge over the expired orange juice incident earlier in the movie.
Want my advice? Just watch 'The Initiation of Sarah' instead.
Hopefully, the rest of the movie can retain this level of confidence.
Oh, not more of this satanic crap I have to translate. With my level of education?
Hack a tay, hear me. Nock tickular hackatay, hear me. Leia, hear me. Bye barubus, bye satanus, by cherry no nose. I did the same thing not long ago with the other movie, 'The Initiation of Sarah.' It's the same deal.
A mistress of the dark, Vivian, practices voodoo and mumbles a whole gang of gibberish in an attempt to hex Harry Grimbridge through a Polaroid, using it as a medium to blow him sky high.
Grimbridge's absence as a teacher the next morning causes an inconvenience in the faculty lounge due to his unforeseen circumstances, as there are no replacements to take his place in fear that they may join him.
It's unusual in this movie that there's only about 15 students for the most part.
A new transfer student arrives in LA and comes between Michael Taylor from 'ET' and Vivian.
One girl uses the dark side of the force, while the other's a regular grifter who looks into crystal balls and burns Palo Santo.
It seems that it's a power struggle movie. Whether it's over Michael Taylor's heart or something more inward between a women's Wiccan union movement is yet to be seen.
The mistress of the dark, Vivian, reminds me of Audrey from 'European Vacation' only slimmer. You can tell Fairuza Balk's Craft character was molded from this Vivian chick, too.
"You're Pete Green, jealous of your own daughter." Or "You're bean-green jealous of your own daughter." What does the father say there? I missed that.
As if this soy-sipping emo Vivian would be the head cheerleader. I'm not buying that for a second.
Another power struggle breaks out between Vivian and her mother, who has Richard Simmons hair. They arm wrestle over a glass of expired orange juice. It's not your typical mother-daughter argument.
The cat in this is kind of cool, if I could see it, as the movie is only in 360p quality. It reminds me of the swishy-tailed cat from that 'Funeral Home' 'Psycho' rip-off.
Vivian one-ups the transfer student and burns her house down using the cat's hire service. After the cat fails in its attempt to burn the transfer student alive, a raven is then employed to scratch people's eyes out, but that's also thwarted.
The transfer student seeks out the guidance of an excommunicated auxiliary member who's trained in the ways of woolens and learns fire starter powers and rowboat nursery rhymes, which are "super," according to Elliots brother, Michael. And it's all thanks to a kyanite crystal made out of dispenser machine plastics.
Before history, first period, a levitation trajectory battle breaks out in woodwork between the two witches. Going to the score cards, I'm inclined to raise Vivian's arm in a close point decision victory.
Why doesn't the transfer student use a surprise attack and just punch Vivian in the face? It'd catch her off guard. Forget all this mind-control Jedi business.
The useless cat has a second stab and tries to kill Elliot's brother Michael again, but fails miserably and should give up as a hitman. For a high school football jock, he sure knows a lot about the occult. He's not your regular Johnny Unitas.
A final showdown is scheduled at midnight on the school grounds, where the transfer student is a heavy underdog. (But we all know she'll win.)
I wonder how many weak-minded, impressionable souls out there believe in all this garbled trash.
Only ten seconds into the fight, a surprise tactic nobody saw coming sees a goat deck the transfer student with a flash knockdown. She dusts herself off and is back up on her feet at the count of three. Call it ring rust, I guess. The fight continues but should have been stopped only 30 seconds in as the transfer student is KOed by fire and the count is up to 2 minutes by now. That's a 120-count on my watch.
Richard Simmons shows up out of the blue and tag teams with the transfer student against his own daughter. The fight ends abruptly when Vivian is consumed by Richard Simmons and fire combined.
They seem to make a sacrifice to save themselves, and apparently, due to the credits rolling, that's all she wrote in a rather underwhelming end to a lousy faceoff.
It seems Richard Simmons still held a grudge over the expired orange juice incident earlier in the movie.
Want my advice? Just watch 'The Initiation of Sarah' instead.