Review of Ice

Ice (1994)
4/10
Ice
3 February 2024
Warning: Spoilers
Ellen (Traci Lords) and Charley Reed (Phillip Troy) are burglars who are on the right side as they work for insurance companies, stealing back things that have been taken by others. This job brings them to the safe of organized crime kingpin Vito Malta (Jorge Rivero), which contains gems taken by his men from a jewelry store. Before you can say, "Why is Traci Lords a never nude in this?" she's in the shower, fully clothed with her husband, the mission complete.

Her husband, however, is an idiot. Instead of marveling at his luck at getting to take pants on showers with Traci Lords whenever he wants, he decides to not give the jewelry back to the insurance company and fence it with Ellen's brother Rick Corbit (Zach Galligan). Malta figures this out and his men chase them down, killing Charley, nearly ending Rick's time on this planet and sending Ellen to the police station.

Detective Alan Little (Jaime Alba) remembers Ellen when she was a jazz singer, so he has a crush on her and allows her to go get revenge.

A PM Entertainment action film, this was directed by Lords' husband at the time, Brook Yeaton. It's the kind of action film that if it came on Cinemax at 2:45 a.m. And you were high, you'd probably not get up to turn the channel. In short, the movies that I spend most of my life finding and writing up.
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