The Boarding School Murders (2024 TV Movie)
6/10
Could've been a contender
10 April 2024
Warning: Spoilers
Unlike most God-awful Lifetime movies, someone shelled out a bit of money for this and managed to land an impressive location: what seems like a legitimate European castle/university for young women. (But it must have been somewhere in Canada because it's cheaper to film there.) Between the students' rooms, the cafeteria, the staff offices, the library, the stairwells, the outside gardens, some "unique" camera angles and basically wall-to-wall dramatic music, TBSM comes across as much grander than it really is.

As soon as the first (and only) murder has been committed, your mind will automatically start narrowing it down to who could have done it. Still, I was a bit surprised at the end.

The director and screenwriters obviously made choices to provide "thriller beats" to many scenes, but none of them were really that thrilling. The most exciting thing that happens in this 90-minute film is when four of the main girls get into a fistfight-hairfight-foodfight in the cafeteria. It simply wasn't long enough. If they had had 90 minutes of just that, this movie would've probably scored a ten.

Hannah Galway, as the "troubled" lead "Frankie," makes a valiant effort to carry the whole film on her shoulders. But the script imprisons her with an endless series of breaking into people's rooms, walking down hallways in an ill-fitting school uniform, constantly calling her former foster care buddy back in New York to report on the odd goings-on at the university, and offering snappy comebacks to a supposed detective who comes across as creepy, strange and cliched.

There were several lines of dialogue that were well written, almost impressive, but unfortunately, not enough to warrant watching the film. And despite attempts to heat up the suspense, I found myself bursting into gut laughs every five minutes.

So, kudos to the production company for scoring this major location and actually hiring more than their standard seven characters. That said, it didn't make that much of a difference because the story was lacking.
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