Review of Guns

Guns (1990)
5/10
Big Guns and Big 'Uns!
26 April 2024
Warning: Spoilers
A mobster wants to ship high-tech Chinese weapons to South America-- thru Hawaii-- and so decides to kill several DEA agents there to lure them to Las Vegas, knowing one will come after him, because ten years earlier, he killed her father. What follows involves action, violence, nudity, and occasional comedy (but not really enough of the latter two).

Andy Sidaris is at it again! Dona Spier, Roberta Vasquez, Cynthia Brimhall, Kim Malin, Donna Spangler, Lisa London, Liv Lindeland, Devin DeVasquez... how many Playboy Playmates (and the like) can you squeeze into one film? There's also Erik Estrada as the main baddie, Danny Trejo as his sidekick, George Cheung as his weapons supplier, Bruce Penhall, Michael J. Shane, Chuck McCann, John Brown & William Bumiller as DEA agents (more than usual this time, though some of them get killed off before it's over). The lesson I got from this movie is, if you're a criminal, operate in quiet. If you go out of your way to target cops-- especially Feds-- you might as well just be painting a target on your chest. (Actually, I think that was Lucky Luciano's MO as well.)

"Taryn" (Hope Marie Carlton) left after 3 pictures (perhaps her character made off with so much money she decided it was better to separate herself from all these dangerous DEA missions?) and was replaced with "Nicole" (Roberta Vasquez, who's beautiful, but far more serious, maybe too much so, throwing off the balance the previous films had). "Shane Abilene" (Michael J. Shane) STILL can't hit a moving target, not even with a massive .44 Magnum, prompting Dona to yell at him, "Don't just DO something, STAND there!", before she blows up a mini-plane with a rocket launcher. DEA agent and stage magician "Abe" (Chuck McCann), interrogates 2 thugs and asks, "Do you know what's the difference between a magician and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist!" When confronted with a pair of sword-weilding ninjas, Donna just SHOOTS them-- the 3rd time such a thing happened in a Sidaris film!

"Edy Stark" (Cynthia Brimhall), who in earlier films ran a restaurant as her cover, moved over to singing in nightclubs, so "Rocky" (Lisa London) took over the restaurant-- an interesting bit of continuity in these things. Edy's role REALLY expanded in this one (and it looks like her breast size did as well, but that may just be her push-up bras). The film opens (and closes) with Edy singing onstage, in what I can only think it a tribute to the Dean Martin-Matt Helm film THE SILENCERS (1966). And it suddenly hits me, lead character "Donna Hamilton" almost has to be a tribute to author Donald Hamilton, creator of Matt Helm!

Looking back over posters for this film, I find the original was quite misleading. It said, "James never had this kind of help!", and pictures a smiling Erik Estrada with Dona Spier & Cynthia Brimhall, as if he were the hero of the picture-- but he's the MAIN BAD GUY!

I wonder why Andy Sidaris didn't have a cameo in this one? (Or did I miss him somehow?)
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