G.I. Joe: The Movie (1987 Video)

Don Johnson: Lt. Falcon

Photos 

Quotes 

• Sgt. Slaughter : At ease, Disease! I've been expecting you. My name is Sgt. Slaughter. Special drill instructor for G.I. Joe.

  Lt. Falcon : That's terrific, Sarge, but I'm tryin' to cut back on the chicken sweat just now, so if you don't mind...

  Sgt. Slaughter : [grabs him by the collar]  You're going nowhere, space case. You're here because you're an industrial strength foul-up! My job is to whip you into shape and I mean *whip*! There's only two ways out of my command: on your feet like a man, or in a ditty bag... an itty-bitty ditty bag! *You got it?*

  Lt. Falcon : [smartly]  Yes, sir!

  Sgt. Slaughter : That's better! Now straighten up and meet the Renegades. They're not real dependable now, but when I get through with them, what are you going to be?

  Mercer , Taurus , Red Dog : Perfect!

  Sgt. Slaughter : That's right. Perfect. Meet Mercer, an ex-Cobra Viper who's seen the light. Red Dog, booted out of pro football for unnecessary roughness. And Taurus, a circus acrobat with a few loose bats in his big top.

  Lt. Falcon : Uh, hi guys.

• Red Dog : [after hearing the bell ringing]  Dinner already?

  Sgt. Slaughter : Not unless you like snake burgers. We're gonna infiltrate the Terrordrome on Cobra Island.

  Mercer : That's suicide!

  Taurus : Yes. Horoscope say it bad day to travel.

  Sgt. Slaughter : Think of it as an extra rough training exercise.

  Lt. Falcon : Training, huh? Why don't we leave our weapons behind? Make it really educational.

  Sgt. Slaughter : Now that's what I call a challenge! No weapons! Let's move out!

  [Renegades growl at Falcon] 

• General Hawk : How is he, Scarlett?

  Scarlett : Not good.

  Duke : I guess I can't look out for you anymore, kid...

  Lt. Falcon : Don't say that, Duke! Doc'll fix you up.

  Duke : This isn't Doc's day for miracles... It's my own fault... I'm too slow...

  Lt. Falcon : No, no! You did it to save me!

  Duke : Promise me you'll try to... get your act together... Be a credit... to your country...

  Lt. Falcon : I... I'll make you proud. You'll see.

  Duke : Yo... Joe...

  Scarlett : He's gone into a coma. Duke...

  General Hawk : Falcon, don't worry. We'll do everything we can for Duke. Yo Joe.

• Wild Bill : Hoo Wee, doesn't look cozy down there, Lift Ticket!

  Lift Ticket : I don't think Falcon's supposed to be cozy, Wild Bill. Gung-Ho, Alpine and Bazooka aren't exactly enjoying their hospital stay!

  Lift Ticket : [tosses Falcon a parachute]  Put it on, smart guy!

  Lt. Falcon : What for? We're over the middle of nowhere.

  Lift Ticket : Which is right where you belong!

  [kicks Falcon out of the helicopter] 

• Lt. Falcon : Want me to kiss it and make it better?

• [slaps Falcon around] 

  Serpentor : Who's with you? You can not hold out forever.

  Lt. Falcon : You're right. All I need is five more minutes.

• Lt. Falcon : Where's the lair?

  [Cobra Commander slithers around and hisses] 

  Lt. Falcon : I said where's the lair?

  [Cobra Commander slithers through a hole in the door] 

  Lt. Falcon : It's too late. He's already completely transformed.

• General Hawk : General Hawk to base.

  Lt. Falcon : What's up?

  General Hawk : The earth is in serious danger. There are mutagen pods floating in the earth's orbit. If we don't shut the BET down those pods will open and shower the earth with enough spores to mutate every man, woman, and child on this planet.

• Lt. Falcon : [Klaxon blaring]  Oh no! No! Oh boy, you really are bad luck.

  Jinx : Hey, you're no rabbit's foot yourself.

  General Hawk : Falcon! Take a good look at what your irresponsibility cost us because you *deserted* your post: an enemy force was able to penetrate security, free Serpentor and injure three good men. You're confined to quarters until court-martial! Get him out of my sight!

• General Hawk : Lt. Falcon, I don't know how an arrogant misfit like you got into this outfit in the first place!

  Tunnel Rat : [whispering]  Are they going to shoot Falcon?

  Law : No. This is just a preliminary hearing.

  General Hawk : Three Joes injured and Serpentor freed by some bizarre new enemy, all because YOU can't follow orders! Your record is a shameful parade of insubordination and gross dereliction of duty. We searched your files in the hopes of finding SOME act of merit to offset the maximum penalty. We found... none!

  Duke : [stepping down from the gallery]  If it please the court, I ask that the defendant be spared.

  General Hawk : On what grounds?

  Lt. Falcon : [grabbing Duke's arm]  Duke... don't.

  Duke : [pulls away]  I just know that deep inside, there's a Joe worth saving; Falcon is my half-brother.

  General Hawk : [shock and surprise reverberates through the courtroom]  We should confer on this. Duke, you may remove the defendant.

  [Falcon and Duke step outside] 

  Lt. Falcon : [angrily]  Don't do me any more favors, "big-brother"!

  Jinx : Falcon! Duke's just trying to help!

  Lt. Falcon : How? By busting my chops every chance he gets?

  Duke : I promised our mother I would keep an eye on him. Maybe I shouldn't have taken the job.

  [Falcon clenches his fist] 

  Tunnel Rat : He did the crime, he oughta do the time!

  Big Lob : Now *you* might get penalized for his screw-up!

  Lt. Falcon : Hey! Nobody's going to take the fall for me! I don't need your help!

  [grabs Duke by the shoulders] 

  Lt. Falcon : STAY OUT OF MY LIFE!

  Low Light : [door hisses open]  Showtime!

  General Hawk : [inside the courtroom]  Lt. Falcon, it is the judgment of this tribunal that you *not* be turned over for court-martial.

  [Falcon and Duke express surprise] 

  General Hawk : However, you still must answer for the severity of the charges against you. Falcon, you're going to learn what it means to be a Joe even if it kills you. I'm sending you to the Slaughterhouse!

  [bangs gavel] 

• Jinx : [after Golobulus escapes]  We failed...

  Sgt. Slaughter : No, not yet!

  [He points to Falcon, jumping back to the controls of the B.E.T] 

  Jinx : What are you doing?

  Lt. Falcon : If I can rev up enough juice...

  [He turns up the power to the maximum] 

  Sgt. Slaughter : You can fry those spores in space!