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6/10
The Queen Returns !
Nodriesrespect30 December 2006
Mostly of interest as the comeback vehicle for cult adult actress Constance Money (real name : Susan Jensen), unforgettable star of Radley Metzger's brilliant OPENING OF MISTY BEETHOVEN, this is a fun if far from fantastic – try saying that five times fast ! – little adult movie from seasoned smut filmmaker Richard Mailer (who has been both "Grey Poupon" and "Mr. Mustard" as well as CENTERFOLD FEVER's "Richard Milner" over a long and varied career), soon to find steady employment directing the highly popular ANGEL signature series for now defunct Intropics, currently distributed by Metro.

Star of only a few classic films – her scenes in Metzger's BARBARA BROADCAST and MARASCHINO CHERRY were cutting room floor leftovers from MISTY – and a much noticed presence in Blake Edwards' "10" and the pages of Playboy magazine under her real name of Susan Jensen, she was successfully lured back for one more time. A sequel (A TOUCH OF MONEY) was announced, but never materialized.

The plot such as it is centers around the efforts of sleazy porno producer Mr. Flowers (Paul Thomas) to convince the actress to do another adult film. To that effect, he contacts her down on his luck one time co-star Jamie Gillis who needs money (and therefore Money) to support his entourage of constantly available "crib girls", cackling midgets, an overweight snake charmer and transsexual torch singer Bambi Snyder whose presence allows him to maintain mental stability ! While Mailer obviously refused to take his material seriously, Gillis sort of manages to convince the audience of the matter-of-fact-ness of his off the wall lifestyle.

Connie turns out to lead a happy housewife existence with the man of her dreams (Blair Harris) who is fooling around behind her back. The real cause of their break-up however is Blair's insistence to move to Vegas to pursue an uncertain career as a musician. This leaves her free to contemplate the comeback offer, seeking advice from longtime friends John Leslie and Sharon Mitchell. Mitch looks fabulous making early morning love to Mike Horner and fulfilling the fan fantasy of seeing her do the Sapphic deed with the REAL Divine Miss M.

Leslie's kitchen scene with busty blonde Gina Gianetti (who started out as "Cassie Blake" in Bill Eagle's original ALL American GIRLS) picked up an industry award. Too bad he wasn't carnally reunited with his ANNA OBSESSED co-star, something they were surely saving for the sequel. Gillis does get to re-enact his S&M number (with a role switch) that wound up in BARBARA BROADCAST in the Constance Money Memorial Shrine sequence that gets my vote as this movie's highlight, though Connie's hot air balloon oral gratification bit runs a close second for sheer originality ! The story never ventures beyond its initial premise and stops rather than ends, but the lady's legion of fans will undoubtedly want to add this flick to their permanent collection regardless.
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