Intolerable Cruelty (2003)

Cedric The Entertainer: Gus Petch

Photos 

Quotes 

• Gus Petch : You want tact, call a tactician. You want an ass nailed, you come see Gus Petch.

• [repeated line] 

  Gus Petch : I'm gonna nail your ass!

• Gus Petch : You seem to be taking it pretty good. I've seen 'em come in here, weep and wail like Baptists at a funeral. Like they hired me to prove their husbands weren't fooling around.

  Marylin Rexroth : Don't get me wrong, Mr...

  Gus Petch : Petch. Gus Petch.

  Marylin Rexroth : Whilst I don't find this terribly amusing, I am delighted that you found this material. This is going to be my passport to wealth, independence... and freedom.

  Gus Petch : [chickles]  Sounds like to me that you gonna nail his ass.

• Gus Petch : What are you talking about? "Tell Tale Signs"? Look, I see a ass. I nail it. I don't sneak around sniffing the sheets. God damn it! I'm Gus Petch!

• Marylin Rexroth : I thought he'd outgrown trains.

  Gus Petch : They never grow up, they just get tubby.

• [last lines] 

  Gus Petch : We gonna make you laugh, we gonna make you cry, but most of all, we gonna

  [with audience] 

  Gus Petch : nail your ass!

  Audience : [chanting]  Nail your ass! Nail your ass! Nail your ass!

• Gus Petch : I'm an ass nailer.

  Marylin Rexroth : So I see.

  Gus Petch : Gym four times a week. Hour and a half, plus stretching. Life circle. Life step. Life circuit. Gus Petch don't pussyfoot around.

• Gus Petch : ...and those Rottweilers were a menace, man!

  Miles Massey : I told you she had dogs.

  Gus Petch : You didn't tell me they had a hard on for Anus Africanus!