Planescape: Torment (1999 Video Game)

Rob Paulsen: Mortimer 'Morte' Rictusgrin

Quotes 

• Morte : Women were the reason I became a monk - and, ah, the reason I switched back...

• Morte : Hey Nordom, knock-knock.

  Nordom : Why do you persist in addressing me as a door?

  Morte : It's a joke, you stupid polygon! You're supposed to answer "Who's there?"

  Nordom : I know who is there. It is you. Why would I ask a question when I already know the answer?

  Morte : Just forget it.

• Morte : It's called the 'Mortuary'... it's a big black structure with all the architectural charm of a pregnant spider.

• Fall-from-Grace : Morte, I'm curious... What are you?

  Morte : Me? I'm the head of Vecna.

• Morte : One time you awoke obsessed with the idea that *I* was your skull and chased me around the Spire trying to shatter and devour me. Luckily, you were crushed by a passing cart in the street.

• Nameless One : Can you speak?

  Ecco : [She shakes her head at you and smiles sadly] 

  Morte : I love this chit already!

• Morte : Psst... Some advice, chief; I'd keep it quiet from here on - no need to put any more corpses in the dead book than necessary... especially the femmes. Plus, killing them might draw the caretakers here.

  Nameless One : Why do you care about the female corpses?

  Morte : Wh- are you *serious?* Look, chief, these dead chits are the last chance for a couple of hardy bashers like us. We need to be *chivalrous*... no hacking them up for keys, no lopping their limbs off, things like that.

  Nameless One : Last chance? What are you *talking* about?

  Morte : Chief, THEY'RE dead, WE'RE dead... see where I'm going? Eh? Eh?

  Nameless One : You *can't* be serious.

  Morte : Chief, we already got an opening line with these limping ladies. We've *all* died at least once: we'll have something to talk about. They'll appreciate men with our kind of death experience.

  Nameless One : Wait... didn't you say before that I'm *not* dead?

  Morte : Well... all right, *you* may not be dead, but *I* am. And from where I'm standing, I wouldn't mind sharing a coffin with some of these fine, sinewy cadavers I see here.

• Fall-from-Grace : Morte, what are you again? I don't believe you ever said.

  Morte : Me? I'm *le petit Morte*.

• Nordom : Attention; Morte. I have a question. Do you have a destiny? A purpose?

  Morte : Is Annah still wearing clothes?

  Nordom : Affirmatory.

  Morte : Then the answer is yes.

• Morte : Hey Nordom, calculate the easiest way for me to snuggle with Annah's pillows.

  Nordom : Annah, Morte wishes to snuggle with your pillows!

• Morte : You know, it couldn't hurt you to be nice to me once in a while.

  Annah : Aye, it would. Hurt me, tha' is.

• Morte : C'mon, Chief! We're in a building with some of the sexiest chits this side of the multiverse, and you're stopping to talk to *modrons*?