User Reviews

I'm still giggling at the way that skyscraper just sort of, well, tipped over against another building. The most hysterical part of this movie is that even when there's a deadly, practically apocalyptic earthquake collapsing the room around you, and crushing people to death - these people are still shooting at each other! Why on earth aren't they getting the heck out of there? They must be really dedicated to their jobs. Why let a silly little thing like a deadly quake distract you? It's as if the filmmakers didn't believe a natural disaster was exciting enough without a shootout.

Or something.

Some spoilers - but do you care? Plot truly ridiculous. Absurd gunfight in San Francisco streets involving a lot of car crashes but no sense. Hero & heroine being shot at by baddies as they go on cable car (which travels about 3 miles per hour). All gunshots miss (but some come very close - scary!) "Earthquake" in LA was a much lower budget affair, involving shaking cameras and falling styrofoam. Gunfight continues uninterrupted during 2 minutes of the strongest earthquake ever. Cutaway to subway car going off track. Why? So later the hero & heroine can come by (does no one else live in LA?) to decide that some people need to be rescued while baddies prepare to drop a car on top of them! Daughter's boyfriend is injured in quake. Daughter says her mom will know what to do - she's to arrive at 9pm! Sure enough the mother arrives in a now virtually deserted mall and they find each other in the designated place. Mind you, in the worst earthquake LA could imagine - whole skyscrapers fall into each other. There is a final shootout with the baddies, a hug, and then the mother (FBI agent) says, "Let's go home, kids". The boy limps along. How will they go home with the city virtually destroyed? What will be there when they arrive? What about all the rest of the people killed by falling styrofoam? Anyway, a hoot.

Gah. Let's go through the "Cliché Movie Checklist" (Patent Pending). Crazy, unbelievable bad guy: CHECK. Lots of explosions: CHECK. Lots of badly-rendered explosions: CHECK. Outrageous accents: CHECK. Matrix-wannabe Russian Mafia bad-guys who speak in English even when they are amongst themselves: CHECK. Guns that have WAY more bullets in a clip than they should: CHECK. Direction that makes you want to pull your hair out: CHECK. Children who are put in the direct line of danger because of parents who are too engrossed in their job: DOUBLE CHECK. Former child porn star turned actress in a lead role: EXTRA CREDIT.

I think one of the biggest problems Epicenter has is that it suffers from "dual plot syndrome". The writer, whatever a dunderhead he or she was, decided on two plots: a microchip that could destroy the world and give the Russian mafia an advantage and lots of money, and an earthquake that not only destroys things, causes explosions, and wrecks lives but also adds a dirty and dusty atmosphere. YIPEE!!

Forget it. THIS IS TWO HOURS OF MY LIFE I WILL NEVER GET BACK!!!

Yet another in the seemingly endless list of Movies produced by the masters of 90's trash, Richard Pepin & Joseph Merhi and their PM Entertainment Group,

'Epicentre' is part Disaster Movie and part Trashy Thriller, and doesn't really work well at either, the best scenes here are scenes edited in from other movies, you have a tram running down the street from Edie Murphy's 1997 film 'Metro' you have the subway rolling over and over taken directly from 1995's 'Money Train' and other scenes taken directly from 1994's 'Speed'.

For a film set around an Earthquake hitting L.A. - it's well past half way in the movie that that disaster happens along with predictable cheesy FX - but considering the budget Dick and Joe usually work with, they're not too bad.

The worst part of Epicentre is like all 'PM' Productions, is the atrocious acting, it's headlined by Traci Lords a former hardcore porn star whose biggest claim to fame is starring in various porno shoots while still underage at just 17, she has since moved on to B Movie land, and doesn't convince in the slightest as a FBI agent, Maybe if this was a porno and she'd take her panties off half way through to ease the boredom - but no, i'm afraid not, Her co star is Gary Daniels an English (though sounding South African) Kickboxing champion turned 'actor' a sort of low rent 'Van Damme' who is one of the worst actors in living memory who somehow has appeared in close to 50, Trashy B Movies over the course of 20 years.. HOW??... with not a single one making it's way to a Movie Theater near you.. what a surprise! The only 'Big' name is Jeff Fahey.. when I say 'big' name - He has a face you recognise - but you can't remember or care what his name is.

Mediocre,By-the-numbers but Watchable enough trash - but It's a rip-off of so many better films it leaves itself rather pointless

*1/2 out of *****

I'm going to be more generous to this movie than most commentators. Though it is, of course, quite lousy.

The beginning struck me as pretty decent, and I thought I was in for an unexpected surprise. There's a tense and meticulously-detailed industrial espionage sequence that could have been lifted straight out of 'Mission Impossible' or 'Thomas Crown' or something similar. It really held my attention.

But after that, the plot definitely goes pear-shaped. Wobbly, meandering digressions begin. We are cut and cut again from one location and character to another. It's been done successfully in many superior movies like 'The Longest Day' or 'A Bridge Too Far' as a vehicle for introducing many disparate characters. But here, there are just not that many to justify the technique and it comes over as ham-fisted editing.

During the espionage sequence, there is no speech; it's all largely silent action. Which only serves to emphasise the wretchedness of the script when the actors begin talking. It's hopeless, almost embarrassing.

Troubles are compounded by a bunch of 'unknown' players who are almost certain to stay that way, if the quality of their acting is any guide. Featureless, unconvincing, wooden-faced; pick where you like.

Our 'traitorous' hero is caught by a female FBI agent and both are pursued by the disappointed baddies to whom he planned selling secrets.

There's the inevitable car chase. And most of it isn't half bad ( though another sharp-eyed commentator spotted a blatant splice-in from 'Metro'). And then - after what seems like an eternity - there's the earthquake. I'm going to be positive again here and say that it was much more believable than the 1970's disaster movie of the same title. But in this day and age it ought to have been a whole lot better. Roland Emerich should have been given a call.

Not for the first time, a director demonstrates his contempt for viewers by assuming them to be dumb. The hero breaks a window in a flooded basement by firing a gun at it. Anyone with more than half a braincell knows that the firearm discharged underwater would simply have exploded.

There's a bit more chase-'n'-shoot stuff and that's about it. Not sure how it finally ends because I dozed off.

The best news is that it only cost me 80p in the fire-sale at my local branch of 'Woolworths'. They're closing down now (and perhaps this DVD then tells a story of its own).

There were enough good elements here to make a really decent thriller. We had espionage, conspiracy, discovery, pursuit and a disaster thrown in for good measure. In competent hands - like, say, John Carpenter's - a decent script, and one or two capable leads, this could have been a treat. It's such a pity. Without them the whole enterprise was reduced it to a plucked turkey.

PU! This was one of the worst movies I've ever seen! So, why did I sit thru it you may ask? Well, action star Gary Daniels is easy on the eyes and I love his accent! Other than that, there wasn't much to keep me interested. The special effects were poor and the camera work jumped from all over the place and scene to scene. Maybe to cover up the poor effects. As impossible as it may seem, the writing was even worse. A convoluted, confusing plot line that truly made no sense. Why during an earthquake would you be inside a restaurant shooting at foreign spies? I'm not even sure what country they were supposed to be from. Wouldn't you want to get your tail out of the building! And speaking of buildings, I thought all structures built in LA had been retro-fitted since the 1970's. Apparently, nobody told the screenwriter that! Otherwise, why were brand new buildings toppling over into each other after a relatively small quake (at least for CA). Too many strings left hanging. What happened to the old man in the elevator? Did Robyn ever get back to see her father? Did Brad get to see his father? Too much time spent on poorly choreographed chases and gun fights and not enough time spent on getting to know the characters and dealing with the quake.

Nick Constantine (Gary Daniels) works for Global Technology and listens to Neil Diamond. He obtains data to track stealth bombers and agrees to sell it to the Russians (back when they had money and cared) for $15 million dollars (millions with an "M" and not billions with a "B"). He is prevented by the FBI and deep cover agent Amanda Foster played by Traci "Elizabeth" Lords trying to live down her other film career where she couldn't act either...but didn't have to.

For some reason this takes place in San Francisco, perhaps for the "bottoming out" scenes, and then for no real reason they go to LA for the earthquake, when San Francisco would have worked just as well. Nick still has a chip that everybody wants. Traci insists on escorting him while Jeff Fahey places a double agent mole, which you suspect the moment his slimy looking character appears on screen.

Traci's daughter (Katie Stuart, Shadowcat X-Man 2) is trapped at a mall and mom needs to save her before she maxes out the credit card. Meanwhile she and her prisoner need to save lives along the way and avoid the bad guys.

Horrible plot execution. Bad formula acting.

Guide: No F-words. Sex and nudity (Daniela Nana plus uncredited strippers)