User Reviews

This is another scummy shot on video feature resurrected for DVD that plays on what other more marketable movies of the '80s were too afraid or weren't aloud to show due to moral crusaders at the MPAA. It's a simple film that doesn't have layers and since '87 the shock has been more effectively exploited. At the gory heart of it, "Splatter Farm" plays on taboos: thrill kills, mutilation of the dead, same sex acts with the dead, collecting dead parts, cannibalism, coprophilia, self-mutilation, animal slaughter, flagrant masturbation and, last but not least, incestuous overtones. As amateur and sometimes clumsily put together as it is, it's going to play on a viewer's nerves one way or another.

This truly is a DIY affair with only four main actors who did just about everything else behind the scenes also. Two of them are twins who are visiting their elderly aunt and late teens cousin on an isolated farm for their summer vacation. Their cousin is a make-up wearing sociopath who has no one to stop him from giving in to his sadistic urges. The movie started out pretty unsettling and strange with more focus on the demented cousin with too much time on his hands. As it progressed, it started to give the audience a break and lean towards the level-headed twins who are getting suspicious and attempting to put it all together. The aunt is caught in the middle and starts to make excuses either from blind motherly love or something of her own to hide.

As terrible as the production values go--including fake bodies that wouldn't fool the near-sighted even without their specs--this is unsettling in the dark ideas it brings to the chopping table. This gets right down to the nitty gritty of amoral without hesitation and with the help of the video quality makes you think there could be a case somewhere like this as out there as it is. Instead of lazily stomping on a synthesizer, the music helps stir up some mood by treating certain scenes with piano melodies and other abstract sounds. "Splatter Farm" had a number of flaws, but underneath the atrocious film quality this has what other underground and even mainstream horror films miss out on from time to time: a little bit of genuine creepiness. It could have faired better with a bigger budget and more time but all and all it's worth a single watch if that's your cup of bitter tea, otherwise the movie is more than likely going to be horrendous if you're only used to horror on a bigger scale. (Also submitted on http://fromblacktoredfilmreviews.blogspot.com/)

I'll skip the analysis and get right to the important stuff. Here are some of the scenes included in the 1987 no-budget home video classic "Splatter Farm." (1) A 19 year old boy having sex with a 65 year old woman. (2) A man crapping out a knife. (3) A boy performing fellatio on himself with a severed head. (4)gay rape. (5) the human consumption of feces. Need I say more? The only thing that limits this movie from being the most shocking of all time is it's lousy direction and film stock. Granted, the ideas are nothing short of nauseatingly disgusting, however they just don't look real, which is obviously the result of an extremely low budget. Bottom line: Cheap White Trash Gore at it's best. Just rent it....when you're drunk perhaps. Have a good laugh, or vomit.

Splatter Farm is a great film...if you are deaf and blind. This is most assuredly the most retarded film ever to be distributed with box art. We're talking production values lower than an extra value meal here, kids. Necrophilia, strange homosexual rape, and incest are not punchlines when you take them as seriously as the makers of this film. If Deliverance had been made by autistic baboons, it would be better than this. If I could have, I would have rated this movie lower than a 1, only a little nub of the first star would have been lit up. 1/10.

You know how people joke about The Blair Witch Project being a dull do-it-yourself home movie? Well, Splatter Farm makes that movie look like Citizen Kane! Yes, I had the misfortune of actually renting this movie years ago and it was so bad it actually has become a running joke with my family. If we see a lousy movie we compare it to this one! Honestly, I can't believe it's even on this website. According to my video store, they get home movies like this every once and a while and sometimes they slip through the cracks and get on the shelf.

Don't be tricked by the other posters who see like they were probably some of the people who were in the movie, this movie had no story, no quality acting, no quality effects: IT WAS A HOME MOVIE.

Do not believe the raving and ranting about this one, you will not find it shocking, or gross, or 'nauseating' as some other reviewers would have you believe. Once again we have a terminally boring and dumb oddity that no one has seen, and those that have feel privileged for some odd reason and thus, obligated to hype it up into something its not even close to being.

"F'ed up" and "sickenly far" are phrases some reviewer chose to use to describe Splatter Farm. Needless to say, that made me laugh almost as hard as the movie did! THERE IS NOTHING SICK OR SHOCKING IN THIS FILM. ITS ALL JUST WORDS. Sure there's some blood and gore, but when an entire movie comes of like a goof, how on earth can it be shocking? For example, the animal cruelty scene (token for any exploiter) shows man lifting hammer, cut to closeup of horse, cut to hammer being lifted, cut to closeup of horse, cut to horse naying and running away...yes folks, ready those pacemakers and prepare for the shock!

Or howabout the incest scene with the aunt and the nephew, here's how it goes.

Aunt: I'm feeling lonely, I drugged your drink. Cut to someone sitting on bed with a big sheet over them, bouncing up and down for 3 seconds (that is supposed to be the aunt and nephew doing it under the covers). End scene. And yes, thats as disturbing as this stinker gets. Every "shock" in this flick is poorly executed and lifted from either Nekromantik or Island of Death (others I'm sure) and just comes of as ineffective and funny(!), the type of reaction you shouldn't have.

The only thing more perplexing than the oh so "sick and twisted...I love it" kids praising moronic movies like this are the detractors condemning them for being so filthy and disgusting (eg. Cannibal Holocaust), anyone that enjoys it must need help. I mean I just don't get it. Like most exploiters, nothing comes off as genuine and is usually badly handled so why bother making a fuss? Anyway, if you're looking for shocks or hell, even just a fun time, don't be mislead. This one doesn't deliver the goods at all, fan of exploitation cinema or not.

Author's Note: I sat through this miserable excuse of a movie 3 or 4 years ago and I recently saw it again (it's just as bad as I remembered) for the sole purpose of giving it the review it so justly deserves. Oh and I didn't pay/waste money on this rubbish either time.

Boy, no one else can bring charm, charisma and ability to the screen quite like the Polonia brothers (groan) in their impossibly low-budget "cult classic" horror film, Splatter Farm. Reportedly made for (and I'm not joking) $100 and was shot directly to video-tape (VHS), on what had to be some pretty primitive A/V equipment. Just keep those two facts in mind a "hundred dollar budget and filmed on VHS cassette tapes" and IF you can believe it, there's actually a "producer" listed in the credits of this "hundred dollar movie". Moving on, I find Splatter Farm to be somewhat similar in plot to "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" (a true cult classic) except without any of the talent or excitement. And to say that the Polonia brothers painfully lame attempts at creating horror, fall well short of achieving any kind of "movie magic" is an extreme understatement.

Why is this? The reasons are many.

If I haven't already told you all you need to know and hopefully steered you clear of Splatter Farm, the list only gets longer from here - so let us continue. When the Polonia twins and their Thin-Scraggly-Teen-Mustaches made this wretchedly terrible movie in 1987, they where still teenager's and had basically no money and little, if any, experience in their craft (this is their first movie) and it certainly shows. When watching Splatter Farm it should take you less than a minute to realize just how cheap and amateurish this sad, sad movie is. Because it's an inescapable fact that every single one of it's odious, low-resolution frames, show NOTHING worth seeing.....only low-budget amateurism. From it's flawed amateurish acting, to it's pitifully weak plot, involving two guys on a vacation, that neither of them really wanted to take (to the home of some old, dumpy, unsavory backwoods woman who lives out in the boondocks, with her "handyman" Jeremy). To say that the majority of this film is uninteresting is an understatement and that's precisely why it's such a bore and candy-striping it with heavy amounts of degenerate Ed Gein-esque visuals and sub-amateur gore effects offer precious little in the way of Intrigue (many other movies have already used visuals like this and much better). Earlier I mentioned Jeremy the handyman, what's his story. Jeremy's the bad egg of the bunch, a despondent, maladjusted miscreant, with a habit of murdering both farm animals and people, he's also inbreed (that's where the "unsavory" part comes into play with regard to the old lady) and he simply has a head full of bad-wiring, which the Polonia twin's, our "star" actor/directors soon find out - fatally.

Quite simply this movie is Boring-Boring-Boring and it's only entertainment value revolves around it's dire level's ineptitude, such as the HORRENDOUS acting, it's cheap, blatantly fake-looking gore effects and the films non-existent production values. Let us briefly delve into the production values of this godly "cult classic". Now I covered the fact that it was filmed directly to video-tape, but just WHAT was it that amateur crew of Polonia, Polonia and Smith captured with their low-resolution video-tapes? Well, sadly, the core visuals primarily involve shots of an old, crappy, weather-beaten barn, a modest , unremarkable rural home, a couple of cars, an empty field, a spattering of forest shots, a few gravel roads and again, some of the worst gore effects ever seen in the splatter film genre (in some scenes the gushing streams of blood are -obviously- nothing more than someone just off-camera squirting fake blood from a plastic squeeze bottle). If the Polonia Bros and their partner in crime, the ever distinguished Todd Smith, were trying to put something scary together, they failed. A much more capable film crew (Tobe Hooper or Wes Craven for instance), covering the very same material could have made this a very entertaining slice of sadistic-backwoods-inbreed-hillbilly-axe-wielding-murder-and-mayhem. But that's NOT what we get here.

If you haven't already guessed, the cast for this movie is extremely small, only 4 people, 5 counting a murder victim out in the woods (the scene lasts for about a minute). None of them have much in the way of "acting chops" especially the old woman. Just listen to the diction of Mark and John Polonia (constantly squinting and drawing-out their words), which is at it's worst when their annoyed with a situation - which is pretty much the entire movie. I will say the old woman has a relatively amusing demise, but once again, lame gore effects certainly still apply.

Lastly, just look at the Polonia twins, talk about two guys who have ZERO business being in front of the camera. Constantly squinting these two scraggly, fur-lipped, mop-topped, wire-framed, bespectacled, 90-pound weaklings are only slightly more charismatic than the corpse's featured in their movie.

Generally speaking just about all movies, no matter how bad they are, are eventually televised, however, I'd be willing to bet Splatter Farm has never been "aired" or ever will be. But hey, at least it's not as bad as "A Night To Dismember".

Two twin brothers are off to spend the summer at the farm owned by their Aunt Lacy,who enjoys incest. Also staying at the farm is Lacy's helper named Jeremy.Despite being obvious,the twins seem oblivious to the fact that Jeremy is their cousin.This obviously disturbed kid enjoys butchering men and using their various body parts including severed heads to masturbate."Splatter Farm" is a zero-budget film.The acting is hideous apart from the actor who played Jeremy.However the gore effects are nasty and surprisingly accomplished,the atmosphere reeks of decay and few taboos are broken including necrophilia,child murder,coprophillia,animal butchery and incest.I'm not a fan of later Polonia Brothers juvenile low-budget atrocities,but I kind of enjoyed "Splatter Farm".

My fellow IMDb reprobates Woodyanders, Hey_Sweden, HumanoidOfFlesh, EVOL666, slayrrr666 and Tromafreak have already seen and commented on this shot-on-VHS gore-fest. I'm so late to the party, but glad I made it eventually: Splatter Farm is technically inept in every department, with some of the worst acting this side of a preschool nativity play, but it's clearly a labour of love by first time writers/directors John and Mark Polonia, and it doesn't hold back on the graphic filth and depravity. Good times!

The Polonias also star in this surprisingly squalid debut, as brothers Joseph and Alan, who are invited by their Aunt Lacey (Marion Costly) to spend the summer on her farm, the boys blissfully unaware of the perversion and violence that awaits them. Aunt Lacey is a twisted old dear whose barn is home to the rotting corpse of her husband Ray (who died in a freak 'axe-cident'). Ray's pecker has long since turned to dust, so lonely Aunt Lacey is only too happy to have two handsome, strapping young men* come to stay at her home, even if they are her nephews. Even more disturbed than incestuous Aunt Lacey is her handyman Jeremy (Todd Michael Smith), who murders passers-by, wears their skin Leatherface-style, and uses body parts to satisfy his sexual urges (in one scene, he uses a victim's severed head to give himself oral pleasure, beating Haute Tension to the punch by 16 years).

In the days that follow, the lads become increasingly suspicious about the bizarre behaviour of Aunt Lacey and Jeremy, and decide to investigate; meanwhile, one of the lads has a dream in which he craps out a carving knife while sat on the toilet (we've all had that one, right?). Aunt Lacey eventually 'roofies' and rapes Alan, which is most unsavoury, but the other brother gets it worse: after knocking Joseph unconscious and giving him a quick BJ, Jeremy ties the poor bloke up in the barn, wakes him up by urinating on him, flips him over, yanks down his pants, fists him, smears faeces on his face, pokes him with a pitchfork, and then buries him alive! Bearing in mind that this is a home-made shot-on-video film, this is staggeringly bold stuff, John Polonia even getting his meat and two veg out for the camera.

Clearly inspired by The Texas Chain Saw Massace, but without any of that film's class and style, Splatter Farm is micro-budgeted messed-up madness designed to shock, and as such, is unmissable viewing for fans of deliberately offensive z-grade trash. Ignore the movie's many obvious shortcomings - the crude direction, dreadful writing, diabolical editing, awful sound quality, and Marion Costly's all-time-worst performance - and have fun wallowing in the filth and cheapjack gore brought to you by the Polonias, who make up for their lack of film-making skills with sheer enthusiasm and gross-out excess (the film closes with a demented plot twist, a shot-gun blast to a head, and a full body explosion, ferchristsakes!)

A hard one to rate - it's a 1/10 in terms of technical proficiency, but 10/10 for lunacy. So a 5.5/10 seems fair (rounded up to 6 for IMDb).

*I jest, of course: the Polonias are the epitomy of nerdishness and I've seen more meat on a baby sparrow.

There is a scene in "Splatter Farm" where, after making a ghastly discovery in a barn, one of our twin protagonists stumbles outside and vomits. He runs off, and a delighted cat runs over and we get an up-close scene of him happily lapping it up. He really digs in to them chunks of turnip! I could say that this sums up the debut film from the infamous Polonia brothers but I would be lying. Not when there are multiple scenes of dismemberment, some incest and torture to boot. All cheaply done, I may add, but very visceral. Which is not to say that "Splatter Farm" is a dismissible, straight-to-video exploitation film. On the contrary, it is quit the shocker, and is high on the creative energy of the Polonia brothers, who wrote the script, starred and directed along with their pal Todd Smith.

The film sees foul-mouthed brothers Alan and Joseph driving out in to the countryside to spend the summer at their Aunt's farm. She is a disgusting old pervert of a woman, who can't take her eyes off of these two young men, even though they are her nephews! Alan and Joseph are perturbed by the half-wit and creepy handyman that their auntie has plodding around the farm and lurking around the house. "What exactly does he do around here?" one of the brothers demands, in one of many hilarious outbursts. Well, when he isn't listlessly hacking weeds around the farm, Jeremy is exuberantly hacking people to pieces and making masks and ornaments out of their dead bodies (Such a blatant "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" rip-off but I'll let it slide). Pretty soon, the brothers find that they are on Jeremy's radar as well as their auntie's, and they'll be doing well to survive the week out here, let alone the entire summer.

Although the special effects are outrageously cheap, they are actually effective and I found some scenes stomach-churning. I believe the Polonia brothers were only about 19 when they made this, and you can see that they really had a flare for it and what they lacked in budget and experience, they more than made-up for when it came to visceral horror. The auntie is one of the most naturally terrifying and disgusting characters I've ever come across, so well done Marion Costly for that performance.

I have been watching obscure horror movies for years and years. I have seen many of the unknown classics, like WOODCHIPPER MASSACRE, BLOODBATH IN PSYCHO TOWN, and HORROR HOUSE ON HIGHWAY FIVE. But NO movie--no matter how crazy, no matter how sick, or no matter how deranged--could've possibly prepared me for the Polonia Brothers' SPLATTER FARM.

Take it from me: you have never seen anything like this movie, and you never ever will. No other production could possibly be more nauseating, more shocking, and more badly-produced than this one. Also, no other production could possibly be cheaper, as SPLATTER FARM has absolutely NO budget (And when I say "no budget", I mean just that... Not $20000, not $1000, not even $200... But ZERO DOLLARS!).

So what exactly is this home-made, shot-on-video masterpiece about? Well, it's hard to say exactly, but I'll give it a go: teenage twins Joseph and Alan go to stay with their lonely (and really, really old) Aunt Lacy, who aside from having necrophilic tendencies with her deceased husband, lusts after her nephew Alan. During their visit, they notice their Aunt's perverted homosexual groundskeeper (Jeremy, played brilliantly by Todd Rimatti) has been exhibiting some rather strange behavior. It seems Jeremy has a bad habit of killing the townsfolk, dismembering them, and storing their body parts in his barn to use for sexual gratification later on. The boys are unable to get ahold of anybody on the outside, and now feel that their lives are in danger, so they begin to take charge of the situation. And that's when it really, REALLLLLY gets ugly.

Does it sound f'ed up? Well, lemme tell ya: I can't even BEGIN to emphasize just how f'ed up this movie is, and just how sickeningly far it goes. In fact, I was so awestruck by this little feature that I soon grew an unhealthy obsession with it. I did as much research as I could on this little obscurity and gathered up every scrap of information I could find. But, for the most part, its production, its actors, and how it somehow got made and distributed in the first place are still a nagging enigma to me. I have watched it several times with numerous people, all of whom were speechless and appalled as the story unfolded. One of my friends, Paul, has also fallen in mad love with SPLATTER FARM and has written a review on this web site as well. Because of this movie I have developed a deep appreciation for the Polonia Brothers and their many bizarre films. I would love to meet them some day, for I am sure they are the sole reason I exist.

PLEASE SEEK OUT AND WATCH THIS MOVIE. You might not like it (in fact, I'm pretty sure you won't), but you WILL be entertained by it, and it will indeed shock the living hell out of you. And, as I stated earlier, you will never see anything like it for the rest of your meaningless, pitiful existence. Trust me.

First off, if you don't LOVE low-budget cinema, then don't even think about it. Even if you do, be cautious. Recently, I came across quite the homemade disasterpiece that you very well may not be ready for. If you're not at all familiar with the s.o.v. revolution of the 80's (Cannibal Campout, Blood Lake), then chances are high you won't know what the hell to think of this one. Actually, I have an entire collection of terrible Horror movies, which were shot on video, and I still have no idea what to think. This completely uncalled for home video was created by the Polonia brothers. A couple of scrawny, odd-looking twins, with sad little mustaches, who either really love Horror, or really, really hate it. What makes Splatter farm hilarious, and totally watchable is the fact that the little mustached gippers are the stars of the movie. Wait till you get a load of these guys. So, anyway, in Splatter Farm, the brothers Polonia pack up their mustaches, thick-lensed glasses and short shorts, and take it to the country, for the summer, to stay with their elderly aunt Lacey, and psychotic cousin Jeremy. The aunt despises one of the twins, seemingly, for no reason, but wants to get it on with the other. All of this is established long before things get weird. Soon enough, Jeremy makes sure things get real weird, with the brutal killings and whatnot. And of course, the Polonia's make sure the massive amounts of gore is as fake, and watery-looking as possible.

LOL... Sweet Jesus. I swear, these low-budget Horror flicks can't be good for the IQ. This one, especially. Already considering everything I know, and everything that is painfully obvious about this movie, the fact that the theme of incest is also being toyed with, simply makes Splatter Farm all the more priceless. But it's not all incest and watery gore. Splatter Farm offers several scenes involving extreme brutality. Some things I've never even seen before. Some things that couldn't possibly be explained on IMDb. What surprises me the most is that the mustache twins continued their quest for true s.o.v. excellence, throughout the next couple decades. Think of me what you will, but I'm totally gonna have to make it my business to check out more of these Polonia efforts in the very near future. What can I say? I love this stuff. 8/10

When one goes to see your regular, run-of-the-mill movie in theatres or on video, it can be expected that it wll be sanitized for our protection. Whether it be censors or nervous movie studios, it'll be tame and boring. With the excellent "Splatter Farm," however, everything is home-made video delight and anything is possible. So I say, seek this movie out and enjoy its unpredictability!

I read the first review, and I agree - total home movie. Decent first amateur effort but GOD what bad acting (and I LOVE bad horror/monster movies). If you go into this movie knowing that it's a home movie, you'll be impressed; but if you go in thinking that it's a "studio" movie (like I did and most people probably do), you'll be disappointed from the very first scene. Amateur special effects, amateur "scary" music, bad lighting, HORRIBLE amateur acting (especially by the old woman)...but it ventures into a ton of "taboo" subjects (incest, gay oral sex, using a severed arm/hand to masturbate and a severed head to perform fellatio, rape, anal fisting and ingesting the results, etc.). The ironic thing is, there's an interesting plot twist revealed at the very end that is pretty mature for a home movie.

See if it you can find it free/cheap, but go in knowing that this is a home movie.

This shot on video classic has it all. Twin brothers, corpses, incest, gore, horse mutilation, knives in toilets, a full frontal nude man being buried in the dirt, fart jokes, kids choking on poison, fisting, and tons of other fun stuff. Highly recommended if you can find it. It's brilliant right down to the ending credits which continue to play the film's score even after the credits are over. A ground-breaker.

First off.. let me state. I am a fan of cheesy horror movies... I have made many "home movie" type videos with friends. So... to me this was a fun ride... At times I could not really pick out what was so stimulating about it though. The acting is beyond horrible (but amusingly humorous), the effects are .. well... to tell the truth I have seen worse... somehow the movie was able to keep my interest, but I cannot say it was an extremely fast paced ride. This film is bizarre in this respect.. I have become harder and harder to entertain, but this movie.. well... kept me entertained... I think it does what most "low budget" / "no budget" movies should do. It understood that it did not have to fill a 90 to 120 minute time slot in order to be considered a film. Most movies in this category feel they must stretch the story out so thin that you could see through it or at least beg for it to be over... At about 75 minutes in length it was not too bad... To me as I ponder my interest in this movie, I think it may be the fact it readily appears as a "home video" and because of that aspect, lends itself to an almost voyeuristic quality while viewing... there are some sick things that go on through this movie and I believe the timing of these events must be perfect.

I just received the twentieth anniversary edition two disc set of Splatter Farm from www.regalstudios.com. Wow! This is one of the most entertaining DVD sets I've ever received and I've purchased a lot of indie films over the years.

I won't go into all the details of the set but if your a Splatter Farm fan you have to get this. It's got a new version of the film with a new soundtrack plus a new documentary with the cast and it's even signed by Todd Michael Smith who played Jeremy! Whats more the two disc set is just as insane and fun as the movie itself.

Splatter farm now and forever!!

One of the best uses of chocolate pudding I've ever seen! There's nothing better than Grandma's cookies except maybe actually getting Grandma. These boys really know how to entertain, the twins will knock you into orbit with their astoundingly delivered dialog.

This movie clearly demonstrates why people shouldn't give other people their home-made movies.

The story, what little you can find of it, is that 2 twin brothers go to visit their aunt Lacy at her farm. The place is supposedly being kept in shape by Jeremy, but he's kinda busy killing people and using their corpses for sexual gratification. The twins begin finding body parts and grow weary of Jeremy. On top of this, Lucy has been alone too long and now finds herself lusting for one of her nephews. Eventually the twins decide enough's enough and try to get away. There's plenty of sick stuff going on, but the rest of the movie is so annoying, you'd be hard-pressed to even notice.

To my amazement, I actually found something not that bad in this movie. The guy playing Jeremy looked truly freakish and was doing a fairly decent job acting.

Absolutely everything else in the movie was undeniable crap though.

It was cut with a spoon, and put back together using chewing gum or something. You went from scene 1 with (extremely annoying) background music playing, to a silent shot of some scenery. No fading out the sounds here, instead they chop it off mid-tone. I lost count of the amount of times there was a crackle or pop when they put 2 scenes together.

The assembled corpses looked okay, but then someone would stand over one and work it over with an axe, getting blood sprayed into him from the side. Come on people, stuff like that isn't rocket science.

The lighting sucked in that oftentimes you couldn't see anything, but even more often everything was way, WAAY too bright, having the same end result.

The dialog, notably absent for the first 5 minutes of the film, was stupid and (st)uttered completely unconvincing. The redneck with Down's syndrome accents of the twins didn't help either.

This movie also has a rather large abundance of walking, sleeping, running, sitting doing nothing, reading the damn newspaper (and not noticing anything to help the story along), awkward silences and more, equally enjoyable filler.

The guy handling the camera seemed to be having Parkingsons disease or something. They couldn't even take a shot of the moon without shaking the camera!

To round it all off, they decided to add a (gasp) plot twist (!) at the end of the movie. If only the creative genius that dreamed that one up had been able to stay focused during the other 90 minutes of the film...

That this movie got a 3.7 here is a miracle in itself, and it's certainly undeserved. The fact that it's a home-movie doesn't excuse it from being the crap that it is.

This movie isn't fun, shocking, entertaining or gruesome. It's a dull, slow, boring, fake, cheap dog of a movie, and your time would be better spent watching paint dry.