User Reviews

My girlfriend once brought around The Zombie Chronicles for us to watch as a joke. Little did we realize the joke was on her for paying £1 for it. While watching this film I started to come up with things I would rather be doing than watching The Zombie Chronicles. These included:

1) Drinking bleach 2) Rubbing sand in my eyes 3) Writing a letter to Brad Sykes and Garrett Clancy 4) Re-enacting the American civil war 5) Tax returns 6) GCSE Maths 7) Sex with an old lady.

Garrett Clancy, aka Sgt. Ben Draper wrote this? The guy couldn't even dig a hole properly. The best ting he did was kick a door down (the best part of the film). This was the worst film I have ever seen, and I've seen White Noise: The Light. Never has a film had so many mistakes in it. My girlfriend left it here, so now I live with the shame of owning this piece of crap.

News just in: Owen Wilson watched this film and tried to kill himself. Fact.

DO NOT WATCH

OK, it's not "Night of the Living Dead" (but then again, what is?), but it's not THE worst movie I've ever seen. The acting wasn't TOO bad--the WRITING, however, left a lot to be desired. The camera work was kinda poor--I could have done without the reflection of the actor's faces in several instances, and it looked like they were going for the "Blair Witch" effect by having the actors run while holding the camera on their own faces--never a good move, especially by amateurs. I was especially surprised to learn this was made in 2001--having indulged myself in relatively recent "MST3K" DVD's, it looked like it was made either A. in the late 70's, or B. by a college video club. I did enjoy the stories, however, surprisingly enough. A writer gets lost on the way to a remote town famous for its ghost stories, and picks up a mysterious hitchhiker on the way. When they stop "to rest a spell", he tells her (I only counted 2?) stories of horrible deaths connected with the town. That part is predictable enough, but the stories the hitchhiker tells are pretty good. If this were given to a more professional cast and crew, it might rise up to the level of "Creepshow"--maybe. The ending made absolutely no sense, sadly, and it ended too soon. I watched the "2-D" version, and it was over in less than 1.25 hours, and the hitchhiker only told two stories. If the third was supposed to be "the wraparound" story, that was pretty lame. I wouldn't run out and buy it, but it's not as bad as most MST3K fodder.

"The Zombie Chronicles" is a lot better than expected for a low-budget zombie anthology.

**SPOILERS**

Driving through the mid-west, journalist Tara Woodley, (Emmy Smith) stops in the town of Scopesboro in order to write about a few of the area's local legends. Meeting up with local Ebenezer Jackson, (Joe Haggerty) he agrees to tell her two stories about the myths that surround the town.

The Good Stor(ies): Story 1-Returning from the Vietnam War, Sgt. Ben Draper, (Garrett Clancy) and his wife Marsha, (Beverly Lynne) break down in the woods around town. Heading off to find some gas, he returns to find her strapped to a tree rigged with explosives, and he is soon tormented into performing several arduous tasks from a mysterious watcher that soon turns out to be from his past. This one here does have some rather good stuff to it, mainly in the form of it's effective and surprising twist. That not everyone is as clean-cut as it first seems is well-played and makes for a fun time, as it spells everything out nicely rather than being forced out at once. We even get a couple of nicely-done suspense scenes, as the first scene in the woods, where her body is stumbled upon strung up with bombs in the middle of nowhere, as well as the final chase where the zombie chases the victim through the woods is nice to see. The gore isn't bad, as a hand is forced through a stomach, ripping out the intestines and another has the eyes torn out of the head. The best is the zombie, which here has that dirt-encrusted, skeletal vibe to it that effectively makes it look dead. There is some problems to it, mainly the fact that the segment really boils down to is the effectiveness of performing calisthenics as a form of horror, since they're not exactly that engrossing or terrifying, and come off as being rather boring. It does serve the film with a nice segue into revealing the protagonist with the back-story, but watching them play-out on-screen, for an eternity as well, is just endlessly boring and would've been better served in montage form. That also sets up the common theme in the film, that it's a little too long, but it's not all that bad overall.

Story 2-Heading out to a campground, Jason, (Mike Coen) Buzz, (John Kyle Grady) and Melinda, (Janet Tracey Keijser) decide to stop in a secluded spot in the woods. They try to pass the time by telling ghost stories, including one of a famous outlaw said to be buried in the area. Not taking much stock in the legend, they soon find themselves trying to escape from zombies out to avenge their desecration of them. This one here is just insanely fun, and despite it being all-too familiar in set-up, execution and pay-off, is done with just the right amount of action and goofy fun that it never manages to disappoint. The fact that the woods are presented as being a creepy environment, with that uncertain-and-disorienting design, off-screen noises and that run-by of the unknown factor coming together into an effectively-set atmosphere. We also get more zombie-make-up goodness, as these look even better than the previous one, still retaining that dirt-encrusted, dead-for-centuries look which should be appropriate given the date of their deaths, and the look works here. Even the back-story is a lot of fun, providing an effective vehicle to hang an engrossing zombie story off of, and it's flashback presentation is good stuff. The last good part is that the segment manages to get in some more nice gore, including a nifty decapitation, a face ripped off and an ear removed and devoured. Again, it's a little longer than it should be, including getting to the graveyard to set-up everything that comes, but it's still a lot of fun.

The Bad Stor(ies): Truthfully, there isn't much wrong with this one, just a few small concerns with it overall rather than individual stories. One of the biggest is at the end, when the lead comes to realize that the stories told couldn't happen, as if no one involved with these adventures survived them, then how do their stories get passed down. Despite proposing this proper angle, it comes off with the wrong angle to execute it. She was, after all, looking for "ghost stories," which indicates that she's expecting to find folklore, the insistence on a verifiable story seems to mean that she's searching more for paranormal phenomena, which is completely different to what she implied earlier, and doesn't make any sense. It goes points for pointing out the logical inconsistency it presents, but not in the execution. Another flaw is that the three sequences are full of simply atrocious-looking cinematic virtues, due to it's budget. There are a few shots where the camera closes up on a character's face as they are running in fear for their lives, and it's obvious that the actor is the one actually holding the camcorder in front of them as their heads bop around out-of-frame, sound goes in-and-out at odd variables, the wind is audible on the soundtrack and overall, the feel is cheap. The last flaw is the film's framing. As mentioned before, it's stories are pretty long, and it wouldn't have needed that much of a miracle to be able to whittle them down a bit providing enough time to squeeze in one more tale, as the whole thing just feels incomplete. These, though, aren't that big of flaws for the film.

The Final Verdict: A lot better than expected, even with some minor flaws in presentation rather than in the stories themselves which is a rare occurrence. Highly recommended mainly for the low-budget zombie film enthusiast, although only skip this if you can't enjoy it due to the budget, all others should give it a shot.

Rated R: Graphic Violence, Graphic Language, Brief Nudity and a mild sex scene

A woman picks up a lover of whiskey on her way to the Scopesboro library to research a story. The man tells her two tales of zombies before we get to the all too easy foreseeable ending.

First off in these "Creep Show" type stories, there has to be three tales. Two doesn't make it. As far as a low budget zombie films go, this is one of the better ones that utilize some decent make-up, rubber hands, and well, okay the eyes were pretty bad. I didn't like the guy with the Vietnam syndrome. It is not something you make fun of. The acting and plot were better than normal for a home made film.

Also I watched this on a Sterling DVD set and the quality was bad, stopping and skipping. It was a new DVD too. I only mention this because I had quality issues with them before. The Russian guy at the flea market who takes a video camera into theaters does a better job. I would suggest if you plan on making a purchase, buy a USED DVD, one that has been watched by the owner and you know works.

Parental Guide: F-bomb, tent sex scene, no nudity.