Darwin (voiced by Sam Rockwell) leads a team of highly trained, and apparently "genetically engineered" guinea pigs (unfortunately, I am not kidding) who are trying to become FBI special agents under the guidance of humans Ben (Zach Galifianakis) and Marcie (Kelli Garner). Unfortunately, the FBI does not want to continue funding the pet project and pulls the plug after an unsanctioned mission to obtain the evil plans of household appliance magnet Saber (Bill Nighy) ends in failure. But Darwin knows Saber's plans, and along with the rest of the G-Force, try to put a stop to it.
As ludicrous and preposterous the idea of special covert agent guinea pigs sounds, G-Force is nowhere near as bad as it looks. It will not win any Oscars, and it is far from the best film of the summer, but I was pleasantly surprised going in with low expectations. The entire first half of the film, starting with the raid on Saber's mansion and continuing with the FBI's termination of the guinea pig project, is just enjoyable from start to finish. It has imagination, flavor, and everything you could expect from something made for kids, but partially geared at adults. It knows its audience, and while it throws a lot of technical jargon at the audience, it stays firmly within the realm of straight-faced fantasy, even as we absurdly view guinea pigs taking part in flight simulators and parachuting off rooftops.
Even the characters, obvious archetypes as they are, seem somewhat well thought out and put to screen. Darwin is the noble leader, never wavering from his goal. Blaster (Tracey Morgan) is the wiseass clown of the group, prone to being gutsy and showing off. Juarez (Penelope Cruz) is the sexy lady of the group, complementing the attitudes of both guys with an unparalleled levelheadedness. And then there is Speckles (an almost totally unrecognizable Nicolas Cage), a mole with some serious computer skills. Yes, I realize I just described the personalities of CGI rodents, but these early moments of the film make any cynically minded film fan wonder why they doubted this insane idea for a movie in the first place.
But as the second half begins, with the team stuck in a pet store alongside chubby farting guinea pig Hurley (Jon Favreau) and zany bipolar hamster Bucky (Steve Buscemi), the film comes to a screeching halt. Yes, the entire plot of trying to stop Saber continues but for some reason (perhaps due to the general audience the film is directed to), the film becomes enamoured with the concept of family. While this should not be a problem, it totally chips away at almost everything that has come before it. The audience understands the ragtag team has a special bond together; it does not need a batch of no less than six writers to tell us this. It makes for uncomfortably boring scenes and horrendously bad dialogue. Some of the silly one-liners are comically bad enough (and rip off classic lines from actions movies like Die Hard and Raiders of the Lost Ark for the mere fun of it), but the forced dialogue about not having a real family is just downright atrocious. It slows the film's pace down far too much, and it barely picks up afterwards. And an action movie like this, especially coming from the Jerry Bruckheimer camp, needs to be fast paced.
What I also found a bit off was the comedy. I was expecting the film to be filled to the brim with juvenile laughs, but even they are conspicuously missing. The crowd of children laughed at the obvious moments (like the irritating "Poop in his hand!" bit from the trailers), but they did not seem to even budge at other moments that could have been funny, but were not. I found it instead, focused more on the action which includes the requisite Bruckheimer car chase. And while some of those scenes are handled more epically than I ever could have imagined (specifically the chase scene), others could have done with a bit more work. The sheer amount of balls-to-the-wall action is still rather impressive for a kid's movie.
The CGI for the most part is actually very well done. In any scenes involving humans who are not Galifianaskis, the guinea pigs look incredibly fake and obviously not real. But when they are interacting with each other, their gear and even the setting around themselves, they are incredibly lush and believable. Some scenes look so advanced that it becomes frightening to think these animals are not the least bit real. Their hair moves in the wind, gets soaked in water and dries just as fast, and their noses twitch incessantly. Their movements against the CGI appliances (that inexplicably turn the movie into Transformers III near the end) are a bit questionable, but for the majority of times, it is very well done. Seeing it come to life in 3D is one of the better presentations this year (outside of the breathtaking detail of Coraline and sheer wonder of Up), and wowed me more than I thought it would.
While none of the real life actors really gets a moment to really make something of their character (aside from Galifianaskis, who does a total 180-degree turn from his off-the-wall socially inept performance in The Hangover), the voice acting is stellar across the board. Everyone puts an excellent amount of effort into their characters, and really make them sound alive and real. I think Rockwell and Cruz could have done a bit more, but the almost totally unrecognizable Cage adds yet another character to his bizarre resume.
G-Force will not please everyone, but its imaginative attempt at originality makes it a worthwhile film to watch. It has some great action pieces, and some really good CGI. With some massive story tweaks, and a bit more comedy, it could have actually really astounded me. But as it is, it's still better than Transformers.
6/10.
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