User Reviews

Jonathan just fills this fan girl's heart with delight! His brilliant "Space Nuts" a porn sci-fi sex comedy was so much fun I've currently making all my fan friends watch it. It's slowly going house to house, and I should get the DVD back sometime in mid 2007 at this rate.

Now he's taken on horror, the genre I adore! This spooky, comic sex romp is everything "Scary Movie" attempts to be, except with jokes that are actually funny. The jabs at the manic maniac movies of the 80's and 90's, and send ups of contemporary indie frights are handled with deft cuts that are witty, sexy and still a bit scary.

Stormy Daniels, Princess of Space Nuts and heroine of Eternity, is in fine form as Kirsten, bubbly blonde danger magnet who isn't sure what she should be more traumatized by - the possible dismemberment of her boyfriend, or breaking the heel of her $300 shoes. Jessica Drake, (departing from her usual style with a rather flattering auburn hairdo), is marvelous as the acid tongued Megan, who provides a bitchy straight woman to Kirsten's floaty punchlines. (Megan: "Okay, if you were a phone, where would you be?" Kirsten: "In a phone booth." Megan: "Okay, if you were a phone booth, where would you be?" Kirsten: "At a gas station!") The rest of our college "kids" are rounded out by Eric Masterson, as our math geek, Blair Witch documentary artiste; Voodoo and Tommy Gunn are our lettermen (one being the captain of the badminton team), who are trying prove themselves manly and heroic, with limited success. Josh: "Did you just hear that sound?" Rayford: "What sound?" Josh: "Well, there were like two different sounds - one was like a bobcat or an owl and the other was like a scream." Todd: "A scream? What kind of scream?" Josh: "Like AHHHAHHH, only a lot more girlie." Todd: "Oh, you mean like when I'm f**king your mother, right?" Josh: "That only happened once!"

Add to the blend a mysterious guy to be run over by a van, a beautiful spirit guide, an attack raccoon, a well with a creepy Ring chick, as well a mysterious old caretaker (Mike Horner - who played the Evil Overlord in Space Nuts is comic gold here!) and even dearer to my heart and other places, Randy Spears - a gruff voiced Texas sheriff- and it's mixed very well.

There is splashing blood, disfigured psychos, roaring power tools and startling soundtrack chords, that do add a nice bit of horror atmosphere, however, the film is first and foremost a comedy. So, the horror is a dash here and there, in the midst of it all - adding to the fun, but not eclipsing it.

The sex scenes are quite hot, even if a bit too formulaic. The performances are enhanced by people maintaining character when they can. However, I would say there is a decided lack of cunnilingus in this film and I think that Jonathan should really address that in his next movie. A little more variation in the pop-shots would be welcome, just so I don't have to listen to the sigh and, "Look another facial." which accompanies most of them -well, it is mostly me saying that, true. Oh, and the gold belly chain on the mental patient.? Yes, it's pretty, but under a hospital gown? That's just not right.

As with Space Nuts, the extra discs are just as much fun as the film itself, with commentary, bloopers, shorts, auditions and all kinds of camp stuff!

I plan to inflict this movie on everyone I know - and this time, I'm buying a spare DVD!

CAMP CUDDLY PINES POWERTOOL MASSACRE is a pornographic film masquerading as a slasher horror flick. It's set in a remote cabin and involves a masked psycho working his way through the cast with the aid of some industrial machinery, but the horror content is very half-hearted and second rate in comparison to a series of low budget and sleazy sex scenes featuring tattooed muscle guys and various tattooed and surgically-enhanced starlets. As a porn film it's cheaply-shot and made with a minimum of effort and imagination, while as a horror flick it's complete junk.