The Dick Van Dyke Show (TV Series)

Go Tell the Birds and the Bees (1965)

Peter Hobbs: Dr. Gormsley

Quotes 

• Dr. Gormsley : [reading Ritchie's version of reproduction]  When a mommy and a daddy want a baby, they put a silver dollar under their pillow when they go to sleep at night.

  Laura Petrie : A silver dollar under their pillow?

  Rob Petrie : Oh, boy.

  Dr. Gormsley : And when they wake up and find the silver dollar is gone, they know that Mr. Cabbage has been there.

  Laura Petrie : Mr. Cabbage?

  Dr. Gormsley : Mr. Cabbage takes the silver dollar to Esmeralda the queen tomato, and in front of the other vegetables...

  Dr. Gormsley and Rob : [together]  ... three broccolis and a radish...

  Rob Petrie : [alone]  ... Esmeralda plants a baby seed in a magic garden saying, "Starlight, star bright, we're gonna grow a baby tonight."

  Laura Petrie : Rob!

  Dr. Gormsley : Then this IS familiar to you, Mr. Petrie.

  Rob Petrie : Oh, yeah, yeah. And on a... on a bright and sunny morning, nestled in a... in a nest of, uh, lettuce leaves, is a beautiful pink pumpkin.

  Laura Petrie : A pink pumpkin?

  Rob Petrie : Well, if it's a girl. Boys come in blue pumpkins.

• Dr. Gormsley : I'm awfully sorry I was late. I was in the principal's office.

  Rob Petrie : [grinning]  The principal? What'd you do?