M*A*S*H (TV Series)

Mulcahy's War (1976)

Alan Alda: Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce

Photos 

Quotes 

• Fr. Mulcahy : There's someone you want me to talk to?

  Hawkeye : Yeah, I got kind of an unusual case for you, Father.

  [Mulcahy sees the dog] 

  Fr. Mulcahy : Oh, my! What denomination is he?

  Hawkeye : He's a German shepherd; I guess that makes him a Lutheran.

• [a German shepherd has been brought to the MASH by chopper] 

  B.J. : Notice anything unusual about this guy?

  Hawkeye : He's out of uniform. He's wearing a fur coat.

• [Hawkeye is prepping a canine soldier for surgery] 

  Margaret : I don't mean to sound unsympathetic, but that dog really shouldn't be in here. Think of the germs.

  Sergeant Hodkey : You have more germs than that dog, nurse.

  Margaret : I beg your pardon!

  Hawkeye : I rise in defense of the lady. She showers frequently. I know because I watch her.

• Col. Sherman T. Potter : Well what do ya think of that?

  Hawkeye : I think I'm a fool.

  Col. Sherman T. Potter : What do you mean?

  Hawkeye : I came all the way to Korea to perform surgery. I could've stayed at home and phoned it in.

  Col. Sherman T. Potter : Laughs

• B.J. : Don't forget, Frank, he's a hero.

  Hawkeye : Yeah, he's scheduled to be awarded the Silver Fire Hydrant.

• Hawkeye : [Sergeant Hodkey asks about his wounded dog]  He's fine. He just asked me how do you bust outta this chicken joint.