Married... with Children (TV Series)

Buck Saves the Day (1989)

David Garrison: Steve Rhoades

Quotes 

• Steve Rhoades : Oh come Al, if you trap too many barrs to carry home, I'll hep ya!

  Al : I'd rather slam my nose in a car door. I'd rather have a proctologist named Dr. Hook. I would rather watch Roseanne Barr do a striptease than take these little booger machines camping.

  Peggy Bundy : Well, good, honey. Then we can spend the whole day together snuggling.

  Al : [after brief pause]  Well, campers! Let's go get us some gear! Chip in for gas and get me the hell outta here!

• [a delirious Steve moans in pain from poison oak exposure and animal bites] 

  Victor : What's wrong with Mr. Rhoades?

  Al Bundy : He's dying, Victor.

  Steve Rhoades : [sing-song]  Thus dies the house of Agamemnon.

  [pirate accent] 

  Steve Rhoades : Tie him to the yardarm, Mr. Christian!

  [British accent] 

  Steve Rhoades : Oh, look father, I sat in something icky!

  Bud Bundy : Should I get a club, Dad?

  Al Bundy : Nah, at least watching him gives us something to do.

  [gagging sound] 

  Bud Bundy : Oh, cool, he's foaming again!

• [after getting lost in the woods] 

  Al Bundy : Don't worry, we've got a secret weapon.

  Steve Rhoades : [offscreen]  Owl in my hair! Owl in my hair!

  Victor : It's not him, is it?