Laugh-In (TV Series)

Guest Starring James Garner For the Second Time (1970)

Alan Sues: Regular Performer

Quotes 

• Teresa Graves : [after the chicken story in the news]  Now where's a one-and-a-half ton chicken gonna make a nest?

  Stu Gilliam : Anywhere she wants to.

  Stu Gilliam : Let's face it, baby, with a one-and-a-half ton chicken loose, Colonel Sanders is GOT to be scared to go out at night.

  Jo Anne Worley : Do you know what that one-and-a-half ton chicken said to me?

  Pamela Rodgers : What?

  Jo Anne Worley : CA-LUUUUUUUUUCK!

  Jeremy Lloyd : How do you make soup with a one-and-a-half ton chicken?

  Ruth Buzzi : Bring Lake Erie to a boil and add a pinch of salt.

  Arte Johnson : Then find a flu epidemic in a big Jewish neighborhood.

  Alan Sues : I'll tell ya one thing, when she clucks, that rooster better get up and at 'em.

  Jo Anne Worley : CA-LUUUUUUUUCK!

  Alan Sues : Isn't she rude?

• Goldie Hawn : [in Mod, Mod, World]  For a week, the Indians did a snake dance. The next week, the Indians did a rain dance. The third week, it rained snakes.

  Alan Sues : If there's something the rest of mankind should adopt from the Indian, it's the peace pipe!

• Alan Sues : Do you know that grumpy hippies smoke crabgrass?