Scrubs (TV Series)
My Monster (2002)
John C. McGinley: Dr. Perry Cox
Quotes
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J.D. : You know Perry...
Dr. Cox : Perry?
J.D. : Yeah, I'm tryin' it out. I find that with the ladies, if you're clear with you're intentions right off the bat, they just fall into place. AQ?
Dr. Cox : What?
J.D. : AQ is sort of a new hit expression meaning "any questions"?
Dr. Cox : Look, don't think I'm impressed because you managed to score a sympathy date with whatever homely-looking girl is managing the gift shop right now.
Lisa : [comes from behind and Dr. Cox is left speechless on seeing her] JD, you ready to go?
J.D. : Oh, yeah, the word you're looking for is 'wow' and the words I'm looking for are in your face.
[while leaving]
J.D. : PO, peace out.
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J.D. : Morning, Dr. Cox!
Dr. Cox : He he, Denise, I know it's morning, if it was still last night I'd still be with my extremely pregnant ex wife trying to calm her down with a chair and a whip because I somehow managed to forget to bring home *the curly fries*. Do ya see where I'm going here? Yes? no? Maybe so?
[whistles]
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J.D. : [narrating to himself] You never expect a cliche to be an actual conversation starter.
Dr. Christopher Turk : Women... huh?
Dr. Cox : Tell me about it...
J.D. : It's like they're from another planet!
Dr. Cox : OK... I'm going to engage you two in a conversation you will speak of it to no one. Agreed?
J.D. : OK.
Dr. Cox : It has gotten to the point where I'm starting to go back in my head over all my old relationships. I mean, don't get me wrong; I'm not like I'm going to sit here and count up all the women I've ever slept with...
Dr. Christopher Turk : 12
J.D. : 9
Dr. Cox : ...18. But not one of them ever really understood me.
Dr. Christopher Turk : I'm feeling you, man. I consider myself a really romantic guy who's a little stressed out; and I thought the one person who'd understand that would be Carla.
Dr. Cox : The weird thing is that I'm actually trying this time.
Dr. Christopher Turk : I just wonder if I'm what she really wants...
Dr. Cox : I just wonder if I'll ever be able to make it work out with anyone...
J.D. : My peep's on the fritz...
Dr. Christopher Turk : Dude!
[laughs]
Dr. Cox : [loughs too] Poor Newbie...
Dr. Christopher Turk : [continuing to laugh] Oh, oh, oh...
J.D. : [Embarassed] No, no, no, no, no, no! No! I'm talking about you, guys! Y... You guys... you guys are, like, my peeps, my dogs... and... you're on the fritz, so... that's where I get "peeps"... "fritz" came from...
Dr. Cox : God love you, Newbie...
Dr. Christopher Turk : [whistles]
Dr. Cox : Thank you for... giving me some prospective.
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[Dr. Cox and his pregnant ex-wife are walking down a hospital hallway.]
Dr. Cox : Y'know, Jordan, I have to tell you, despite how crazy hormonal you are, there is something about a pregnant woman that's almost... spiritual.
Jordan Sullivan : Really?
Dr. Cox : Honestly, you...
Jordan Sullivan : Uh huh?
Dr. Cox : You've never looked so beautiful.
Jordan Sullivan : It's the giant boobs, isn't it?
Dr. Cox : Well, have you *seen* them lately?
Jordan Sullivan : Yes... relax.
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J.D. : So, it appears Mrs. Watson has developed a post-op infection at her thyroidectomy site.
[pokes Mrs. Watson's neck]
Mrs. Watson : Ow!
Dr. Cox : Newbie, when a patient has an infection, I make it a general policy not to actually push on it. Just start Ansef one gram Q 8 hours, and, oh, my god, did I just ask my ex-wife to move in with me?
J.D. : [sassily] Mm-hmm.
Nurse Roberts : [looks at JD questioningly]
J.D. : What? You don't own that.
Dr. Cox : Oh...