Scrubs (TV Series)

My New Old Friend (2003)

Richard Kind: Mr. Corman

Quotes 

• Mr. Corman : I was at my friend Kelly Papadopoulos' wedding, okay? I share a glass of ouzo with this guy named Yanos. Twenty minutes later, I'm in a cab, I gotta ask the guy to pull over because I'm gonna explode in some guy's rose garden! Now, what would YOU think?

  Dr. Perry Cox : Same thing I think right now: That you got yourself a bad case of the wish-you-were-sicks.

  Mr. Corman : Yeah, well I read the symptoms on the internet, okay? I have Yaba!

  Dr. Perry Cox : Would you say you've been in contact with many exotic primates this year?

  Mr. Corman : I have been to the zoo, yes.

  Dr. Perry Cox : And, while you were there, did you go ahead and jump right into the cage and play Toss the Poop with the other monkeys? Because, if you did, then yeah, you just might have Yaba. But, if that's the case, it would be way, way down on the list of your problems.

• Dr. Perry Cox : Mr. Corman. Great news: Dr. Zeltzer and I have gone over your test results, and your prognosis is excellent.

  Mr. Corman : That's great.

  Dr. Perry Cox : Yeah, it is!

  Mr. Corman : But you know what? You guys can pat yourself on the back all you want, but I'm not an idiot. I know that you were screwing with me; that I come in here sometimes, thinking I'm sick when I'm not. But if you remember anything, you remember this: If it turns out I didn't have cancer, I coulda been just some guy coming in here, looking for help... that you treated like crap.